Please don’t make me tell you who Natalie Green is. Oh it’s like that, is it? Fine. I’m old. I can take it. Click here. The payoff comes at the 1:00 mark. But don’t fall into a YouTube hole and not come back. We have so much more to talk about today! Anyway, Mindy Cohn, aka Natalie Green, showed up at the opening of the Tracy Anderson Flagship Studio yesterday starring not Tracy Anderson but Gwyneth Paltrow, her most famous, most toned, most quinoa-ed client. Full Story

As you know, Gwyneth Paltrow’s body was produced by her trainer, friend, and business partner, Tracy Anderson. Anderson’s Method has been on sale for a while now, promising a body like G’s and now she’s come out with The Pregnancy Project so that a few weeks after you have your baby, you can get back into size 2 jeans. Full Story

There was a party for Gwyneth Paltrow’s 40th birthday in London earlier this week. Stella McCartney, Hugh Grant, and some other British personalities were there. G celebrated her birthday proper in Portofino the week before with close family and friends. Now she’s in New York to celebrate some more but also to help promote the Tracy Anderson Pregnancy Project. Full Story

Gwyneth couldn’t hold Cameron Diaz’s hand last night for too long because she had to hang out with former President Bill Clinton at the Clinton Foundation Millennium Network in London. She wore a f-cking AMAZING white brocade-ish (can we call it that? or is it more like lace overlay?) situation over white tuxedo pants. Full Story

As you know, Gwyneth Paltrow is running a fitness business now with her trainer Tracy Anderson. They’ve been slowly recruiting some high profile clients including Jessica Simpson, Ellen Pompeo, and now Nicole Richie and Jennifer Lopez. The workouts now have become a giant group pimp. Here’s Nicole leaving the gym on Monday. Full Story

Why does Porny hate the gym? Well, I can't say I love the gym. The gym isn't the funnest place ever. For Porny though, the gym sucks extra hard because, essentially, this is a lazy person with a lazy mind. If she had it her way, she'd sit on the couch and fart all day. Porny probably also isn't into the gym because it appears that her golddigger isn't going with her. Full Story

Porny’s getting married this year. So she’s trying to lean out, get into her dress. Her last trainer was Harley Pasternak. But Harley’s connected to John Mayer. And besides, Porny wants to look like GOOP. Gwyneth’s body is aspirational? That’s actually a business plan. Full Story