A great white dress and on fake hair

August 17, 2012 14:08:53 Posted at August 17, 2012 14:08:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Ian Gavan/Getty

LOVE this Giambattista Valli dress on Jessica Biel. Maybe even more than I did when it was sent down the runway. So much that that f-cking fringe doesn’t even bother me so much today. It’s the collar. It’s the lace sleeves. It’s the feather peplum which is a refreshing improvement on the goddamn overplayed feather skirt. She looks amazing. The makeup is lovely, the styling is very good, and the fake hair is really well done too.

What?

Have we talked about this yet? I am so fried from this week I can’t remember and a quick search on my own blog hasn’t come up with anything so we’ll do this today - the weave/extension/fake hair issue.

My producer friend Caleigh has always had great hair - dark, thick, wavy. A couple of months ago it looked different and I asked her what she was doing with it:

Oh it’s not real, Lainey.

Then she lifted up her crown and showed me the weave line.

WHAT?

Lainey, no one has real hair.

But... I do.

I have no eyelashes and stumpy legs, terribly shaped arms, a hook nose, boring eyes, and gross shoulders, but I do have thick hair that grows and grows and grows. Growing up surrounded by Asians, I ignorantly and naively never thought that others with thick, long hair would need help with it. Today I’m sitting across the pod with my supervising producer Bhumica, Indian background, with thick long hair, and she confirmed this knowledge gap in her life too. So when Caleigh made this revelation, I realised that I am a f-cking dumb c-nt.

Caleigh continued to enlighten me by explaining that most celebrities that you see, with long thick hair, also need assistance. At this point, we were joined by TL and Dean, and then, naturally, the conversation became them running me through the list of celebrities with hair I thought was real but is actually fake. These were just a few of the names:

Kate Beckinsale - fake

Carrie Underwood - fake

Lea Michele - fake

Kanye West’s girlfriend - fake

Blake Lively - fake

Jessica Biel, here, fake. Very well done, but fake.

So the next question is...

Why are some of them so well done and others, Lindsay Lohan, so horrible?

Caleigh is a real crusader about this. She will immediately and happily show anyone who asks. People need to know, Lainey. People need to know that it’s not genetic. (Except for Gisele Bundchen) That when they say “it’s all me, I’m natural”, that it’s a lie. That what they’re seeing requires resources, access and patience and, well, some investment. People need to know.

People like me. The stupid ones.

Since being schooled in hair by Caleigh, I of course am extra attuned to it now. It’s everywhere.
 

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