Sasha Answers: Should I go to my brother’s wedding?

November 19, 2012 19:15:02 Posted at November 19, 2012 19:15:02
Sasha Posted by Sasha

Hi Sasha, My brother proposed to his girlfriend recently and I am super happy for him but I am having a problem with being able to attend the wedding.  I live overseas (my family is all in Canada and I am not) and I recently got let go from my job. My husband now has to keep us going until I can find other employment.  We are not flush with money but we are not in any debt.  We have a very small amount in savings which at the moment is emergency money in case I can't find any work.  So this wedding is in June and as it goes right now my husband and I cannot afford to go back to Canada for the wedding. 

I figured out how much money we'd need to have for us to be able to go to the wedding without putting us in major debt, and well that figure is something we just can't afford.  Now I'm stuck. 

The thing that makes it hard is that if somehow we get the money organized it means that all the plans my husband and I had for next year get put aside (we wanted to go on a ski holiday, buy a new car, and were planning on going back to Canada in december for xmas and my 30th birthday).  I'm a mess and I have no idea what to do.  So the big question, how do I break the news to my brother that I probably won't make it to his wedding that’s 7 months away? B

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Sorry to hear that you lost your job B; that’s a big bummer and big stress, but it seems like you and your husband have well planned for this kind of scenario, so props to you for being so responsible and organized.

Now, what you're experiencing is what everyone experiences when they lose their job: panic sets in and all future plans get put on hold, but B I have to say that I don’t think your brother’s wedding should be one of them.  Look, I know things feel uncertain right now, but his wedding is still months away and a lot of opportunities could come to you in that time.  You're still young, so I have a good feeling you’ll have no problem getting back on your feet.

I do have to fess up though, there’s something that’s really bugging me about your letter….. if things are so tight, how in the world is a ski holiday trumping your brother’s wedding?  Can you explain how you seem ready to give up on attending your brother’s wedding so quickly yet you're still holding out hope for hitting the slopes? How does that work?

Here’s the straight up deal B, if I was in your situation there is no way I’d ever NOT go to my sibling’s wedding.  I would look every day for cheap flights, I would ask my family or friends if I could couch surf while I was there, I would do everything to make it, even if it meant, yes, going into a bit of debt.  To miss out on something so special like that would just not be an option.

Thanks for writing in and good luck on finding a new gig!  xx Keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming here.

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