There. You see how easy that was? Duana just stopped whatever she was doing as soon as she saw those two words. Angela Chase is Duana’s spirit animal. If you ever really want to get Duana’s attention, just namecheck Angela Chase, or email her with the title MSCL. She’ll get back to you asap. Full Story

Ryan Reynolds woke up with a new wife this morning. His ex-wife Scarlett Johansson woke up to pictures of herself holding hands with her ex-boyfriend Jared Leto at the DNC last week. Scarjo’s rep says it’s totally platonic and that everyone should focus on why she was there and her speech and the President, but still, they were holding hands and they used to be lovers and so, of course, of course we’re talking about it. Full Story

A couple of weeks ago, In Touch reported that Johnny Depp was spotted sneaking out of Ashley Olsen’s apartment in NYC on February 27th after having spent the night there. Click here for a refresher. Since it’s In Touch, and therefore salt-grainy, that story came and went pretty quickly. Full Story

Definitely have a double standard going here. Call me on it, please. Because if Lenny Kravitz were walking around Paris Fashion Week like this, I’d be totally ok with it. But ... Jared Leto isn’t Lenny Kravitz. Jared Leto walking around Paris Fashion Week like this just looks like a loser. Unfair? Would I be less unfair if I was more of a fan of his music? If I considered him a “rock star” would I be more tolerant of his try-full “rock star” stylings? Rock Star or Pop Star? I want there to be a difference. Full Story

A very thin Jared Leto was shooting an ad for Hugo Boss yesterday in New York when Spittle rolled up and sprayed him. Gross. But why does Jared look so... hungry? Oh and by the way, he thinks fans of his band are, um, more cerebral than others. Like instead of wanting to f-ck him, what they really want is to read to him Full Story

And the fact that he’s a vain douche. Because Jared Leto is beautiful. Ageless too. Here he is bike riding in New York yesterday with toned arms and such great bone structure, trying to make you forget that he’s carrying around a bad case of Ebola Paris Hilton infection that SHALL NOT BE FORGIVEN simply because he’s so goodlooking. Full Story

So f-cking hard. Even the Alba Bitch seems to be taken aback by his Try. And she’s no stranger to Try. This is Jared Leto sitting beside Jessica Alba at the Dior show in Paris yesterday screaming ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. It’s more than just the hair. It’s the way he’s holding his body too. Full Story

It’s Fashion Week. And at the Calvin Klein show yesterday, four douches tryharded in the front row, creating a collective air of desperation that blanketed the clothes. Let’s start from right to left. It’s Jared Leto, big ass poseur hair, pretending people still want to make movies with him. Full Story

Jared Leto showed up at a Calvin Klein event last night trying to resurrect his acting career with his hair… I guess. For someone like Robert Pattinson and the hair hysteria that exploded ovaries in tandem with his meteoric rise, it worked in that case because it seemed genuine. He just has messy hair. Full Story

Two years ago at Sundance Jared Leto not only allowed himself to become infected by Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton, he also allowed himself to be photographed doing so. Their faces mashed together, their tongues fused by saliva, captured by the cameras, preserved in perpetuity. Two years ago, Jared Leto’s career died. Full Story

The Globes, the parties… Let’s start with Jared Leto. Jared Leto’s career died about a year ago after he was photographed kissing Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton at Sundance. You can read its obituary here Full Story

Prince played Coachella this weekend…how f&cking amazing is that??? The man is pure sex and talent. Love, love, love. Unfortunately his royal presence was contaminated by the arrival of that diseased skank Ebola Paris Hilton who showed up hand in hand with Benji Madden. And because Ebola’s infection has been spread far and wide, awkward avoidance was apparently the name of the game as Jared Leto was at Coachella too and the last time he saw her, he ended up putting his tongue in her mouth and killing his career forever Full Story

As mentioned yesterday, the hottest party in town this week is at Soho House Grey Goose Club - a few photos of celebrity guests last night are attached. First the gorgeous America Ferrara no makeup and SOOOOO pretty! Am so jealous about that hair. Next…the Alba Bitch and her growing bump glowing in her expectant state and showing off an expanding chest. Full Story

It appears Elisha Cuthbert’s career has gone the way of Jared Leto"s. Because while Elisha and Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton have always been tight, until now Elisha has yet to allow Ebola’s deadly fluids to infect her. Full Story