Royal Smut Articles

Happy Fourth!

July 4, 2014 19:25:24 Posted at July 4, 2014 19:25:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
David M. Benett/ Getty

I didn’t even know these pictures existed until Jackie emailed earlier this week, gushing. Thanks Jackie! Sorry Jackie! But you were gushing! Thought it would be a good way to send you on your weekend – Hot Harry and Tom Hardy who might not be holding a puppy but also isn’t looking weirdly unattractive in costume. Full Story

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The future king is a mouth-breather

July 3, 2014 13:46:41 Posted at July 3, 2014 13:46:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Chris Watt/ Getty

A new portrait of Prince William was revealed yesterday by artist Dan Llywelyn Hall who, I’m sure, is a lovely person. But…um… I have so many questions. Why does he have a sunburn? Why is he using concealer? Why is there a creepy ass ghost lingering by his left hear? WHY IS HE A MOUTH-BREATHER? Here’s Will, will his mouth closed, today in Edinburgh with his grandparents and his aunt at the Thistle Service at St Giles Cathedral. Full Story

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Will, Kate, and Genie

July 2, 2014 14:07:53 Posted at July 2, 2014 14:07:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Karwai Tang/ Getty

Genie Bouchard! Canada’s golden girl won her quarterfinal match today at Wimbledon, advancing to the semifinals…which will be her THIRD grand slam semi this year. Wimbledon. They call it the “cathedral of tennis”. And Genie calls herself a princess, sometimes. Well, there was a princess in the cathedral today. Full Story

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Hot Harry’s Chilean dancing

June 30, 2014 14:52:10 Posted at June 30, 2014 14:52:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Chris Jackson /Getty Images

It was a full weekend for Prince Harry in Chile. The bonus: we got some dancing. Check him out trying to contain his hips during a visit to the Fundacion Amigos de Jesus daycare centre in Santiago yesterday. He also played patty-cakes with a boy called Russel and hung out with some young bike riders. Full Story

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Hot Harry’s 3 change day

June 26, 2014 15:07:25 Posted at June 26, 2014 15:07:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Chris Jackson/ Pool/ Getty Images

It was day 3 for Prince Harry in Brazil. Third day, three wardrobe changes. That’s how busy he was. He attended a reception in a suit. He put on a Team Brazil jersey and jeans while playing with the kids. And he had on a dark green shirt and jeans for a visit to the rainforest. Pit stains! Along the way, he met with struggling citizens, children who’d lost parents, people with addictions, demonstrating the compassion and kindness that his made his mother so irresistible, at one point getting emotional while hearing their stories. Full Story

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The Queen and the Iron Throne

June 24, 2014 19:50:54 Posted at June 24, 2014 19:50:54
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Handout/ Pool/ Getty

It’s right there! Right there! Sit on it! She didn’t. And maybe that’s a smart move. Because nothing good, so far, has come from anyone sitting on the Iron Throne. Her Majesty visited the set of Game Of Thrones today in Belfast. Certain members from the cast were there too. Full Story

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Expectant Serenity

June 24, 2014 17:26:04 Posted at June 24, 2014 17:26:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Crystal/ Splash, VALERY HACHE/ Getty

The Grand Highness of Serenity Charlene of Monaco is pregnant. Click here and here for previous posts about the news. Someone called Terry just emailed me asking about coverage so I thought I’d include those links and some new-ish shots I haven’t posted from last Friday when Charlene and Prince Albert were at the Monaco Yacht Club. Full Story

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Hot Harry in Brazil

June 24, 2014 14:36:51 Posted at June 24, 2014 14:36:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Chris Jackson/ Matthew Lewis/ Clive Brunskill/ Getty

Prince Harry is in Brazil for the World Cup, spreading his ginger joy in South America. Yesterday he watched the host country’s victory over Cameroon. Today he took over the microphone at Minas Tenis Clube to support the UK’s GREAT Campaign. He also rolled up his shirtsleeves and handed out medals to young swimmers. Full Story

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Thursday, June 19, 2014
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Dear Gossips,

“We have earned the right to fail.” Is what Iker Casillas said a couple of weeks before the start of the World Cup after Real Madrid’s UEFA Champions League win yesterday. And I wrote at the time that…well… it’s not the attitude you want going into the tournament.

So, yeah, they failed. Spectacularly. And Iker in particular took a massive sh-t. I hope Sara Carbonero isn’t as fickle as I am, you know? This won’t be happening this year:

While Spain was getting dumped from the World Cup, the country crowned a new King and Queen, Felipe and Letizia. They made sure it wasn’t happening at the same time as the game, right?

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

Hot Harry in a top hat

June 17, 2014 15:00:06 Posted at June 17, 2014 15:00:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Mark Cuthbert/ Chris Jackson/ Getty

When one goes to the races, one wears a top hat. Hot Harry had to dust his off today to attend the first day of Royal Ascot. He rode in the carriage with the other #2, Prince Andrew, his spirit inspiration, although Harry’s troubles, while entertaining, aren’t as potentially problematic as Andrew’s. Full Story

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A loving royal gaze

June 17, 2014 14:06:59 Posted at June 17, 2014 14:06:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WPA Pool/ Chris Jackson/ Getty

The Order of the Garter service happened yesterday in London where both Prince Charles and Prince William were in attendance. Princess Catherine was there to support her father-in-law and husband. Camilla couldn’t come because she’s sick. She’s done this before, Katy Cambridge, but if it were me and Jacek, we would not be able to keep a straight face looking at all those feathers. Full Story

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Big G has a weapon

June 16, 2014 16:39:38 Posted at June 16, 2014 16:39:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, James Whatling/ Splash

Big G was also at the polo match yesterday to watch his dad and his uncle ride around on horses. He didn’t seem all that interested. Dressed in seersucker pink, Bruiser, as usual, was a handful, determined to get out of his mother’s arms so that he could wrap his chubby fingers around a mallet and go find someone to club in the head. Full Story

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Um. Yeah.

June 16, 2014 16:12:41 Posted at June 16, 2014 16:12:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet, James Whatling/ Splash

I dedicate the first photo attached to Dlisted’s Michael K because Hot Harry on Horse is sitting, spread out, and, UM, YEAH. This is the second in what will be a series of three quick royal posts. Here we focus on Prince Harry in green. And sweaty. Playing polo in support of Centrepoint, of which the Cambridges are patrons. Full Story

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Pull my fingers

June 16, 2014 15:50:03 Posted at June 16, 2014 15:50:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Chris Jackson/ WPA Pool/ Getty

Trooping The Colour happened this weekend in London to celebrate Her Majesty’s birthday. Everyone has to show up for this one. Princess Catherine rode her with mother and brother-in-law to Buckingham Palace. Who wouldn’t want to ride with Hot Harry? When you ride with Hot Harry, you’re on the party bus. Full Story

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