My ma always says -- some people bring you good luck, and other people will suck away all your luck. Chinese astrology has a lot to do with it. Every sign has its opposing sign. I, for example, am an ox. It would be terrible if I had married someone born under the sheep sign. If you have to, if that’s who you happen to fall in love with, then the wedding date becomes critical. Full Story

David Beckham has just announced his retirement. He’d been playing with Paris Saint-Germain, helping the team win its first French title in 19 years on Saturday. Here he is celebrating with his teammates at the victory parade on Tuesday. PSG was expected to ask him to stay for another year but he’s decided to turn it down, explaining: “I'm thankful to PSG for giving me the opportunity to continue but I feel now is the right time to finish my career, playing at the highest level. Full Story

We don't call him King Wayne here in Canada but we do call him The Great One, which is almost the same. Wayne Gretzky in Canada is about as royal as it gets. And now his daughter has become something of a Hollywood socialite with her very own fame aspirations, complete with provocative picture scandal and now, an athlete boyfriend -- PGA Tour golfer Dustin Johnson. Full Story

David Beckham is currently at a hospital in Paris where he’s undergoing physical evaluation, a formality before the announcement -- Becks will play for Paris Saint-Germain, back in Europe to end his career. A press conference will follow shortly. And, as you would expect, already the British are sh-tting on the move as a purely commercial endeavour, for both the club and Becks. Full Story

Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger were at a local pub in Vancouver yesterday for the 49ers-Falcons game. Josh is apparently a 49ers fan. And newly unemployed as Fringe is now officially over as, following the win, he tweeted that he was the #happiestnewlyunemployedguyever Full Story

It’s been a rough several months for Rafael Nadal. There was that knee injury. And then a stomach virus that kept him from the Australian Open where, SPOILER ALERT, Maria Sharapova dominated Venus Williams today and when I first read the headline I thought it said Serena and I almost tripped. Full Story

Well, it was inevitable: a Ryan Lochte reality show on E! It premieres in April and will feature Dum-Dum preparing for Rio 2016 and managing his clothing line and trying to find love. At 28? Training for another Olympics while getting your dick sucked by former child stars and aspiring actresses? I guess that sets up Season 4 then, non? Lochte sinks at the Olympic trials. Full Story

If so, he's going out a champion. David Beckham led the LA Galaxy to the MLS title on Saturday. He celebrated with his three sons, always publicly affectionate and tactile. I love this. And I wonder how much longer they'll let him. I remember my dad picking me up at the airport after I spent an entire summer in Hong Kong. Full Story

H7, her mother, and her brothers were dropped off at LAX the other night by dad David who did not travel with them to London as he’s preparing for the MLS Cup Final on December 1 once again against Houston. Needless to say, Posh and the kids will be back well in time to watch Becks play for the Galaxy one last time. Full Story

I don’t know why it’s working out like this that every time I post about Jessica Simpson there soon follows a post about Gisele Bundchen but Maria may have started it with her article about the two last week - click here for a refresher - and now it’s like the universe is setting it up this way. Full Story

Prince Harry and Ryan Lochte both partied in Vegas. At one point they partied together. If I had asked you last week who would come out of the weekend pictured cupping his balls and bent over with his ass crack on display, what would have been your answer? The third in line to the throne or the Grand Poobah of Jeah? While Harry is ensconced at Balmoral waiting on Granny’s judgment, Lochte’s the one on The Today Show being all wholesome and snuggling puppies. Full Story

Michael Phelps’s new ads for Louis Vuitton, photographed by Annie Leibovitz, were released this week. Look at him in that suit with his hair all styled up. Aaaaand... I still prefer him in the pool. Just in the pool. Not talking, not mixing up his Asians Full Story

As Sasha tweeted at me yesterday - Please let him never stop being dumb. Please let him never stop being Ryan Lochte, our favourite dum-dum, as Tina Fey would say. Did you watch Ryan Lochte on The Today Show this morning? As soon as Ryan Lochte starts speaking, I smile. A wide smile. A smile full of affection as he tries to sort the verbs and the nouns out in his head, and given that it was a sweaty late night last night, remarkably lucid, although, if possible, he was actually talking slower than usual. Full Story

Sasha and I were emailing about this yesterday - it’s the same joy, though not quite as pronounced, that we get from Mariah Carey’s inability to walk, or her overuse of the word “bleak”, or when she complains about her twin pregnancy and what she had to endure... Such is Ryan Lochte’s dumbness. Full Story