Brange: snakes and rabbits

November 16, 2009 08:31:38 Posted at November 16, 2009 08:31:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Brange showed up for a private tour at the MOCA 30th Anniversary Gala the other night and the widespread Photo Assumption, on the heels of their tabloid cover dominance this week, definitely indicated that the relationship is strained. Click here for more.

But wait. That’s why it’s called Photo Assumption. Because the video tells a different story. The video features some Pitt Porn.

Move along. That’s not the story. What’s the story? The story is how the Brange is fighting the rumours. See the article here. Thanks to Katie for sending along the link…

A New York Times columnist and two-time Pulitzer Prize winner is suddenly getting all gushy with Us Weekly about the state of the Brange union. Conveniently the Brange has been helping him promote his book.

Coincidence or conspiracy?

Oh please.

The Brangelunatics will claim it’s entirely altruistic but these two look out for #1. And #1 is their brand. And they f-cking sell it, manipulate it, push it, hide it, twist it, and pimp it better than the rest.

What’s on sale right now?

Jewels for charity. The Brange collection at Asprey – it’s serpent themed, it’s called The Protector, and it’s infused with the power of The Chosen One because the Jolie was pregnant with the Chosen one Shiloh when she was given a snake ring and she’s since always thought of the snake as an angel looking over her family.

Click here for more information on the collection and photos but be careful about your sign.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are rabbits, like Jacek. I’m an ox. Rabbits and oxen are compatible with snakes. But horses, monkeys, and especially pigs are not. So if you’re a pig, and you walk around with a snake all over your neck, it’s almost like you are strangling yourself, perhaps literally and figuratively. People need to be more careful about these things.


Photos from Stefanie Keenan/Gettyimages.com

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