Tom Cruise and John Travolta were unable to participate in George Clooney’s Hope For Haiti Now telethon because they were committed to another event - the Living Legends of Aviation. Full Story

It’s their anniversary today and to celebrate the occasion both Us Weekly and Star Magazine feature the couple on their covers, both publications taking it balls to the wall with suggestions that theirs is a contract marriage fraught with drama. Full Story

THIS IS IT premiered last night in LA – Jennifer Lopez and Will Smith were the top two names on the carpet, both with ties to the GMD and, yes, both with ties to the Xenu. It’s been a terrible week for the Xenu. Paul Haggis left him Full Story

That word explains everything. Per the Paul Haggis revelations mentioned in today’s open, “disconnect” is a Scientology policy that refers to the action taken against those who do not share the Xenu love. Haggis’s wife was ordered to “disconnect” from her family when they broke from the Church. Full Story

Please. This is the party I would have really wanted to be at. Us Weekly is reporting that on October 16th, the GMD and Katie Holmes were in London attending a Scientology event with thousands of other Xenu lovers to celebrate the 25th anniversary of the International Association of Scientologists. Full Story

Katie Holmes showed up a the Annual Women in Hollywood event last night too, dressed rather conservatively in a black blouse and mom length skirt until she stood under the right light and exposed her bra…and it still wasn’t all that exciting. KatE did stop on the carpet for some “safe” press and mundane questions like: How great is it that you’re a mom!?!? Isn’t it so great that you love your family? Being a strong woman is so great, isn’t it? Great! I’m telling you. Full Story

I called it an eyebrow archer the other day. And indeed, The Daily Mail once again sucks sh-t, instilling us first with false hope, and then replacing it with disappointment. The other day, the paper reported that Katie Holmes and Jesus had triumphed over Xenu and the GMD and that Little Sci was enrolled at a Catholic pre-school in Boston. Full Story

The GMD's 2 oldest are currently being educated in the ways of the Xenu. It was expected then that his youngest, future leader of the Free Thetans, would be similarly indoctrinated even though Katie Holmes was raised Catholic. After all, they were married according to Scientological scripture. Surprisingly however, if The Daily Mail Full Story

Katie Holmes will spend the summer shooting Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark in Australia. She arrived with the GMD and Little Sci today in Melbourne, were spotted at the private airfield and taken to Crown Casino to meet up with the GMD’s longtime friend Jamie Packer. Jamie Packer is a super rich dude – family used to be the richest in Australia. Full Story

Like I wrote last time, every time I see her now, the song plays in my head. And I’m on my knees, looking for the answer…Are we human? Or are we dancer? They say she’s definitely dancer. Seen here leaving at the dance studio yesterday with Little Sci. I’m sure you’ve heard? Katie Holmes has been training hard, prepping for a performance on So You Think You Can Dance. Full Story

Her bag bag, the white one, and this dumbass dress she’s wearing. SO unflattering. Can you imagine? Having all that money? And blowing it on stupid f-cking clothes? Katie Holmes was photographed shopping yesterday in LA, fresh off her Gumby-like appearance Full Story

Exclusive. There’s a movie that was made in the 80s, used to keep me up at night. Because Eric Roberts is a creepy motherf-cker. Based on the short life of Dorothy Stratten, Playboy Playmate, who was murdered by her deranged estranged husband. At her Playboy photo shoot the other day, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were giving some people the same vibe… Am told exclusively that the shoot went down on Tuesday in Malibu. Full Story

Paps claim that these photos taken of JailBait Miley Cyrus and her loser douche 20 year old boyfriend Justin show the two having an argument about their relationship. Depends on how you Photo Assumption. I don’t Photo Assumption a fight. I do however Photo Assumption an order. Or a series of orders. Full Story

He must have switched her off for the night. Check out Katie Holmes’s expression leaving the Star Trek premiere with the GMD. That’s about as blank as it gets. The two did not walk the carpet, sneaking inside to the screening instead, attempting perhaps to be respectful, choosing on a rare occasion not to steal the spotlight, unlike that f-cker Mel Gibson earlier this week at Wolverine with his uber low grade Angelina Jolie wannabe. Full Story