Justin Bieber thinks he’s Mimi
Justin Bieber is on tour in China. China is also where those GIANT HORNETS have been hanging out, killing people. You do with that information what you will. Here we are talking about how JB went sightseeing and hit up the Great Wall. Where, instead of walking, or even running, because he’s just 19, and obviously infirm, he decided to ride on the shoulders of his bodyguards instead.
Was he re-enacting what it might have been like for an emperor during the Tang Dynasty? I am the Emperor, JB, of the Twitter Dynasty, and this is my land. In his mind, he probably is. An emperor. He certainly has enough subjects to be considered an Emperor. And people around him to tell him every day that he is, indeed.
Then again, when you’re too lazy, or small, to walk up a world wonder all by yourself, you can’t then get mad when people call you a baby and point and laugh at this, right?
Part of me wonders whether or not he’ll regret this in 10 years, when he’s had some time to reflect, if maturity ever sets in. And that’s where I stop. Because maturity might never set in. Fame stunts you at the time it arrives, keeping you there, forever 15 or 35, depending on when it happens. It’s why Leonardo DiCaprio will always be 22, fist-pumping at the club. And Britney 16 in pigtails. And JB eternally somewhere between 14 and 16, even when he’s losing his hair and nobody cares, he’ll still have the perspective of a kid with a pimple fixation who masturbates until his dick is sore.