Annie and her underwear

December 12, 2012 22:13:38 Posted at December 12, 2012 22:13:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
C.Smith /WENN

I’m not posting the pictures. It’s really not all that interesting to me. And, frankly, the suggestion that she did it on purpose for her Oscar campaign is... really dumb. How could that possibly, possibly be part of an Oscar campaign strategy...? Why would seeing pap shots of Anne Hathaway’s pussy convince those old fart Academy members in Palm Springs -- who picked Crash over Brokeback, REMEMBER??? -- to vote for her? If, that is, they actually voted themselves. What’s more likely is that their wives fill out the ballots. Which makes the whole intentional vaginal flash theory even more ridiculous -- can you imagine those huffy bitches actually checking off Annie’s name if they thought she was baring her bits on purpose? Unfortunately, one day, the Academy’s membership will consist of people like Kellan Lutz. And when that happens, a peek-a-boo crotch move might actually win someone an Oscar, sure. But we’re at least 50 years away. 

Some people though, even if they don’t believe that Annie deliberately opened up for the cameras, are still blaming her for not wearing panties, maybe even some Spanx. Oh good, one of my favourite crusade topics: underwear is overrated and thongs and g-strings are gross.

If you’ve been reading my blog long enough, you know that I have the not wearing of underwear thing in common with Jon Hamm, only my anatomy is shaped differently. The advantage of the design of the female form is that nothing around there hangs. I never wear underwear under my jeans/chinos/leggings/whatever variety of pant available and you cannot see the contours of my business. This means that I’m not constantly picking something out of my ass, which is what happens in thong or a g situation. Do you know what a goddamn pain in the ass a thong or a g situation would have been under Annie’s dress? And besides, the camera would have been there anyway, and no woman has a skinny enough pussy that it would be completely covered by that bullsh-t stupid underwear they expect us to wear on these occasions. You should read Caitlin Moran’s rant on it in her book How To Be A Woman. You know how in porn movies they always show the woman going off when she’s getting jackhammered from behind like it’s the greatest pleasure she’s ever known when that sh-t could not be more boring? She is pretending. Like how we have to pretend like thongs and g-strings actually have a job. They do not have jobs. Especially not when they’re being concealed. NOT wearing them has more benefits -- because at least you’re comfortable. And, God, why would someone who doesn’t need to wear Spanx actually wear Spanx?!?!

Anyway, here’s Annie at Hugh Jackman’s event last night. As you can see, as opposed to when she was Tom Ford’s dominatrix, she’s smiling with teeth. I love how a dress can determine a smile now. She’s probably also smiling because she, like me, is a no-underwear girl. And we will always be more comfortable than the ones who waste their time with the useless alternatives mashed down ass-cracks, accumulating discharge along the lower band. What?

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