Oscars 2009 Articles

Oscar I’m over you: Anne Hathaway

February 23, 2009 09:43:24 Posted at February 23, 2009 09:43:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Let’s start with eating. Squirrels should eat more because otherwise their eyes go buggy. I’m a bitch, I’ll say it for you. I’ve already said it over and over again anyway. Sometimes she looks like a squirrel. But Duana was all like – oh she’s so lovely, I like her so much, so when her boyfriend when to jail, I was swayed by my friend. Full Story

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Oscar finally: Freida Pinto

February 23, 2009 09:20:00 Posted at February 23, 2009 09:20:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Loved it. Finally not a prom dress. Maybe not the hair but the blue and the detail and the way it moved – in person this was magnificent. In person she popped. In person it took away the headache of Beyonce and replaced it with a calm serenity. In person this girl… This girl makes you feel good about the world. Full Story

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Oscar sit your dumbass DOWN: Miley Cyrus

February 23, 2009 08:57:41 Posted at February 23, 2009 08:57:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As I said on the show last night, Dolly Parton exploded all over her dress. I can’t…I can’t talk about this dress. Like what the f-ck in hick town hill billy is she wearing? And seriously, did her parents raise her in a convenience store? Please… Please watch this video. Please note her mannerisms. Full Story

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Best Oscar Hair: Taraji P Henson

February 23, 2009 08:38:23 Posted at February 23, 2009 08:38:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I love her so much. I love that there aren’t five million things attached to her head. I love that if I told you she woke up with hair looking pretty much like this you’d believe me. Don’t you prefer when someone shows up on a carpet knocking it out of the stratosphere without seeming like they agonised over it for a month? Like Kate Beckinsale? Or, ahem, me? Anyway. Full Story

Worst Oscar Hair: Alicia Keys

February 23, 2009 08:18:40 Posted at February 23, 2009 08:18:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This hurts me. Very badly. Because I love her. She is perfect. She is kind and smart and she purrs. Michelle says she purrs when she talks. She can purr in my ear all day. Of course she’s sooooo beautiful too. But the hair, the hair is so obviously a fake, some kind of wig/weave/whatever…it made me sad. Full Story

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Best Oscar Bitch Face: Penelope Cruz

February 23, 2009 07:54:07 Posted at February 23, 2009 07:54:07
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Apparently winning an Oscar now gives her the right to demonstrate her Bitch Face. Amazing. At the very end of the Hugh Jackman/Beyonce/Mamma Mia number, Hugh shouted out “Musicals are back”! Or something to that effect. Take a look at Pene’s expression. She does not agree. Penelope Cruz hates musicals So yeah, I was underwhelmed by her dress. Full Story

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Oscar Open Mouth Posing: Robert Pattinson

February 23, 2009 07:33:00 Posted at February 23, 2009 07:33:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Again…back to the pool feed. Laura, my producer, who is still aching for him, almost launched herself off the balcony when he walked by. This is after Daniel Craig, her other love, had passed earlier and she barely reacted except to hiss into my face: Satsuki is ugly! We’ll save this for later. Full Story

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Oscar LipGloss and borrowed prunes: Zac Efron & VH

February 23, 2009 07:12:00 Posted at February 23, 2009 07:12:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

MK Olsen, having no use for them anymore after the Spirit Awards, loaned her prunes to Vanessa Hudgens last night who gave them a very good workout, in between moments when she wasn’t scowling about her dress. Bitch, if you can’t control the dress, don’t f-ckin’ wear it. Also – it looked cheap. Full Story

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Worst Oscar Couple: SJP & Matthew Broderick

February 23, 2009 06:58:36 Posted at February 23, 2009 06:58:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He was BORED. He looked bored from the moment they arrived, he looked bored up and down the carpet, he looked bored at Vanity Fair, he looked bored because he wasn’t doing what HE wanted. This photo of them touching noses – the man is straight up queasy at the sheer proximity of his wife. Full Story

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Best Oscar couple: Josh Brolin and Diane Lane

February 23, 2009 06:49:38 Posted at February 23, 2009 06:49:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He flew way under the radar this awards season in a category dominated by Heath Ledger. Best part about Josh Brolin however is that he didn’t seem to mind. They were chill last night he and Diane. Very relaxed, enjoying the moment, knowing there was no chance, totally free to celebrate with their friends. Full Story

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