Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher: Mission Impossible?

July 4, 2012 15:46:44 Posted at July 4, 2012 15:46:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Jack Reacher trailer has been released. And what timing too. More on this in a minute...

But what’s with the music? Just me or does it sound like Mission: Impossible?

So Tom Cruise is supposed to be a badass. Righteous. Able to take on several thugs all by himself. And f-ck a broad on the side. Do you buy it? Because he needs you to buy it very, very badly. Those studio executives must be sh-tting themselves right now. They planned to drop this preview this week, taking advantage of audiences during the Fourth of July box office, to build anticipation for the movie’s December release. But now that a divorce bomb has exploded in Tom’s face, all everyone will be thinking when they see this in theatres is that his wife just left him because he wanted to send their 6 year old daughter to alien school.

We’re talking about millions and millions of dollars. And even though we live in a gossip bubble most of the time, I promise you this story is bigger than the blogs right now. Right now, everyone knows. I was in a newsroom the other day. News producers, who focus on, you know, proper news most of the day, and still think Brad and Angelina only have 2 kids, know about Katie Holmes leaving Tom Cruise because Tom Cruise is a freak.

So how does Tom Cruise save Tom Cruise? Many of you out there reading are public relations and branding professionals. Wouldn’t you love this challenge? After the Matt Lauer confrontation, and other unflattering Scientology episodes from a few years ago, Tom was advised to cool it on the public Xenu worship. He agreed to pull back. He stopped talking about his religion. But still it has followed him. And right now, now that his estranged wife is telling everyone that he wanted to torture their child with auditing devices, he’s not so much a Movie Star in our minds but the Chief Scientologist of the World. It’s an almost insurmountable offence.

If you’re working on this project then - Save Tom Cruise - I think right off the get you have to concede that there is no short term solution. Beyond sitting across the boardroom table from him and pleading with him to break up with Xenu, what is your strategy? Do you advise him to take a break from big budget and try “acting” again? In supporting roles even? Do you tell him to go underground for a while? Take a 2 year break, hide out on an island somewhere, and come back with a story of rediscovery to tell? Do you beg Channing Tatum to give him a part in his new movie? That makes me laugh.

If I were the Dean of the Faculty Of Celebrity Studies at a liberal arts university somewhere in New England, this would be an entire semester. Sh-t, this should actually be your masters thesis.

Oh and by the way... speaking of the Faculty Of Celebrity Studies...

It’s travelling.

July 30th - Halifax
July 31st - Ottawa
August 2nd - Calgary

More details to come. But save the date now.

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