Globes Best: Colin Farrell

January 12, 2009 10:39:40 Posted at January 12, 2009 10:39:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hemisphere.

Like, please.

Who would have thought the word hemisphere would set off such loin rubbing fury across the universe?

It was a great surprise for Colin Farrell last night. And still he spoke so eloquently, so spontaneously. Hot AND articulate. How can this not bring the quiver?

Also – a man who can have a laugh at his own expense. When he was presenting he made reference to his sniffling, blamed it on a cold and “not what it used to be.”

It was candid, it was gold. And it’s why Duana and I haven’t spoken since Thursday. Duana is Irish. She believes this gives her claim over Colin. On Friday morning I posted this article. On Friday afternoon she sent me this email requesting I post this on the site. She is accusing me of being a bad friend.

Dear Elaine,

I tried to figure a way to hack into your blog and post this but I have not been able to. So please consider this an open letter.

Back off.

You have often said "Duana likes Colin Farrell" or "You (meaning, in this case, me) like Colin Farrell because he's Irish". You may therefore not claim ignorance in this matter.

You have never said "I (meaning you) love Colin Farrell" You have loved, among others, Prince Harry, Michael Phelps, Hunter Parrish, ROMEO BECKHAM, and many more too countless to be listed.

Colin Farrell is 32 years old, generally speaking not someone you would be attracted to being as he is neither A) Nineteen B) Giant and brawny or C) ambiguously sexualized by the media . Your invitation to go out is a mockery of your usual romantic tastes and a clear and flagrant violation of one of the standard tenets of friendship, that thou shalt not covet your friend's husband, even if that husband is not yet a legal signatory to his role.

I have enjoyed many years of your friendship and trust that this behavior will receive your prompt attention. Failure to cease and desist will result in my digging out some of your more embarrassing Michael Phelps chats. Please be aware that Skype chats are kept for over a year.

Much love,

Duana

I have to give up Colin to not break up with Duana. Would you?

Photos from Wenn.com

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