Golden Globes 2009 Articles

Globes Best Black: Evan Rachel Wood

January 12, 2009 08:17:00 Posted at January 12, 2009 08:17:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s over Marilyn Manson. She escaped (somewhat) unscathed. She was only 18 at the time. Lured by dark clichés and inexperience, the desire of every teenage girl to seem older, to be taken seriously… the mistakes of youth, should they be held against her forever? I think she knew not what she was doing. Full Story

Globes Best White: Kate Beckinsale

January 12, 2009 08:01:00 Posted at January 12, 2009 08:01:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Two for two… well done. Let’s give it to her because she wanted it so badly. The pinched expression on her face gives it away. Shades of her best friend Posh. Please, please, please tell me I’m stylish! I slaved all day to be stylish! And the poor thing…she had to present with that megalomaniacal buffoon P Diddy dick ass who practically pushed her off the stage when he was speaking. Full Story

Globes Worst White: Eva Mendes

January 12, 2009 07:56:14 Posted at January 12, 2009 07:56:14
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Her necklace, yes. But she looks the same. Over and over again, she’s wearing the same strapless dress in a different colour and her hair’s up and teased with a fringe…again. That’s the thing about this girl. She’s so attractive and yet she totally fades into the background. Full Story

Globes Best Homey: Kate Winslet

January 12, 2009 07:50:00 Posted at January 12, 2009 07:50:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Leo calls her his homey. Kate Winslet is everyone’s homey. Well, except maybe Angelina Jolie. Heh. In all fairness, though it doesn’t matter because you hate the Jolie more than anyone else and that’s all you can see… Kate actually COMPLETELY FORGOT to mention Anne Hathaway. Like TOTALLY BLANKED. Full Story

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Globes Best Colour: Cameron Diaz

January 12, 2009 07:44:17 Posted at January 12, 2009 07:44:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh Zoe. I love. And she can pull off the pink, non? It was Chanel. Wrinkly and a little messy, and totally perfectly beach girl Cammie D. But… The shoes. Pink and silver like a birthday party. Or the must-have wedding motif circa 2002. Ugh. It’s what prevented Cameron Diaz, for me, from shutting it down. Full Story

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Globes Worst Colour: Eva Longoria

January 12, 2009 07:34:53 Posted at January 12, 2009 07:34:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Like, why does she even matter anymore? Why is she presenting? Who cares? It’s Eva Longoria! She’s the afterthought in the Posh/Katie/Beckinsale friend posse. She’s the hanger-on at the party. She’s totally 2004. And she’s a pageant girl forever. Holy mother of Vanessa Minnillo – what the f-ck is she wearing??? This is the kind of sh-t that should earn a lifetime ban. Full Story

Globe Neutrals: Demi/Pene/Salma

January 12, 2009 07:31:03 Posted at January 12, 2009 07:31:03
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Wasn’t feeling it. All those neutrals, nudes, and light grey. Meh. Even Salma who is ordinarily spectacular. Meh. The ageless Demi, perhaps the best of the boring because of her great hair and Ashton is a babe, but still… meh. And Penelope Cruz especially. Washed her out. And I’m done with the teasing at the crown with her bangs. Full Story

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Globes Best Nicole Kidman: Amy Adams

January 12, 2009 07:19:00 Posted at January 12, 2009 07:19:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Moulin Rouge was on tv the other night. I’d forgotten. How much I love it. Moulin Rouge is sublime. And Nicole Kidman 7 years ago… this is why I loved her then. Before she went apesh-t with the freezing, before she decided to permanently immobilise her face, before her forehead became the tundra… Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge was exuberant and electrifying and gorgeous. Full Story

Globes Best Speech: Tracy Morgan and Tina Fey

January 12, 2009 07:14:00 Posted at January 12, 2009 07:14:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Tracy Morgan name checking Cate Blanchett made my life. He should hire himself out for speech acceptances. On the internets this morning there are some MiniVan huffy puffies who actually didn’t get it. Like please. How can you not laugh at Tracy Morgan? Poor quality video below. And of course…who else but Tina Fey. Full Story

Globes Worst Clapper: Beyonce

January 12, 2009 07:01:00 Posted at January 12, 2009 07:01:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Good: Her dress Bad: Her hair Worst: Her clapping! It wasn’t golf clapping either. It was little girl learning how to clap clapping. WTF? Save? Duana pointed it out – she seemed appropriately present at the Globes. Like she knew her place. She didn’t rush that carpet like she owned it. Full Story

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Globes Worst Hair: Debra Messing

January 12, 2009 06:48:20 Posted at January 12, 2009 06:48:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sit DOWN Debra Messing. Better yet – go away. Am so over her. And that hair. That hair had desperation all over and inside of it. That hair had her agent and her publicist lurking around it. Her entire talent team randomly popping out of it, begging someone, anyone, especially Jeff Zucker for a return to network television. Full Story

Globes Best Hair: RDJ

January 12, 2009 06:39:00 Posted at January 12, 2009 06:39:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Even before Robert Pattinson cut it off, there’d be no chance against this. RDJ’s hair can deliver a Shakespearean monologue without rehearsal. It can be bad ass but gentle, sensitive but not limp, heroic but not over confident, RDJ’s hair is personality and charisma and a great soundbite all at the same time. Full Story

Globes Pre-Puberty: Zac Efron

January 12, 2009 06:33:53 Posted at January 12, 2009 06:33:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Michelle pointed it out – LipGloss is incapable of growing facial hair. And he makes up for it by not washing his hair? Like Robert Pattinson? But Rob Pattinson can grow a beard. So Zac’s answer to that is to bring his beard. And Vanessa Hudgens looked as out of place among the major players as he did. Full Story

Globes Worst Fit: Blake Lively

January 12, 2009 06:27:44 Posted at January 12, 2009 06:27:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Like by 2 sizes. At least. Chill before you start foaming at the mouth and composing that hate mail. Am not saying she’s big. Of course she’s not big. But she’s making herself look bigger by stuffing her body into a dress that doesn’t fit. Take a closer look – that sh-t is so tight she can’t even tuck the hanger straps all the way into the side. Full Story