Royal Smut Articles

Hot Harry in a puffy coat with this legs spread

April 19, 2013 16:33:49 Posted at April 19, 2013 16:33:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Chris Jackson/ Getty

Look at this scamp. It’s a press conference for charity and he could be sitting on a couch, belching, for all you’d know from his body language. This, of course, is why we love Harry. He’s the messy one. It was announced today that Harry will join a group of wounded veterans from the UK, the US, and the Commonwealth on an expedition to the South Pole as part of the Walking With The Wounded South Pole Allied Challenge. Full Story

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The Royal Bond Girl is honoured

April 5, 2013 15:39:20 Posted at April 5, 2013 15:39:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WPA Pool/ Getty

There are more photos of this event to come in the next article but the Queen deserves her moment alone, don’t you think? Especially when she’s receiving an award for a change instead of handing one out. And an acting award at that! The Queen was presented an honourary BAFTA award yesterday for her support of British film and television but, really, let’s be honest, it was for her performance as a Bond Girl at the Olympics. Full Story

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Princess Catherine’s shorter hair, shorter hem

April 4, 2013 15:38:40 Posted at April 4, 2013 15:38:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet, James Whatling/ Splash, Chris Jackson/ Getty

William and his Catherine are in Scotland for a couple of days this week. Here they are at a sporting demonstration today at Emirates Arena in Glasgow. Kate seemed charmed by the little runners. Look at them, working so hard for the Prince and the Princess. Am I crazy or does the Princess’s hair seem a couple of inches shorter, even allowing for curl? As I noted a few weeks ago on March 19 Full Story

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Prince William’s upcoming unemployment

March 28, 2013 14:58:25 Posted at March 28, 2013 14:58:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

US Weekly is reporting exclusively that Prince William is quitting his job flying search and rescue helicopters with the Royal Air Force. He’s expected to confirm these plans publicly in the new few weeks and by the time Baby Wales arrives, he’ll be unemployed. Full Story

Let’s check in with Charlene of Serenity

March 22, 2013 19:12:36 Posted at March 22, 2013 19:12:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Big news in her family today... Andrea Casiraghi is a father. His fiancée, Tatiana Santo Domingo, who is a Colombian heiress, of course, are now parents to a baby boy. As Princess Serenity has not yet produced an heir, this child then is now third in line to the Monaco throne, after his father, and his grandmother Princess Caroline. Full Story

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The Princess is a Scout

March 22, 2013 17:29:42 Posted at March 22, 2013 17:29:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WPA Pool/ Getty

Sh-t, Katy Cambridge has been BUSY this week. That’s FOUR public appearances... so far. Today, despite the deep freeze all over England right now, she was at the Great Tower Scout Camp in Cumbria with other adult volunteers of the Scout Association learning some new scout skills. She made a fire. Full Story

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Katy Cambridge’s 3 out of 4

March 20, 2013 13:50:42 Posted at March 20, 2013 13:50:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Danny E. Martindale/ AFP/ Getty, Keystone

Princess Catherine stepped out again today on official royal duty, her third appearance in four days, this time at the side of the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh at a visit to Baker Street underground station. Not that there was any doubt about it but this reaffirms, obviously, that Her Majesty is very fond of her granddaughter-in-law, and perhaps more so because she’s (re)productive. Full Story

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Catherine’s white collar

March 19, 2013 18:34:31 Posted at March 19, 2013 18:34:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Bauer, Mirrorpix/ Splash

Oh much better than that sh-tty ass St Patrick’s Day royal bun that gave me the swears yesterday. Did you take a good look at that thing? Did you see its shape from the sides? What kind of a stylist allows that to be seen in public on a princess? Jackie M wrote to me yesterday countering that a simple low ponytail, as I suggested as an acceptable and much less ugly alternative, would be an affront to a certain demographic. Full Story

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When can Harry hold Cressida’s hand?

March 18, 2013 20:34:54 Posted at March 18, 2013 20:34:54
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Jesal / Tanna/ Splash

Prince Harry went out with friends the other night in London. Not an unusual occurrence, except that Cressida Bonas, his girlfriend, was in the group. Well that adds another dimension to the “I Love You” phase in a relationship, non? On top of when to say it and how long to wait before saying it, when you’re royal, of the Windsor House, does it come with extras? Like, how long do they have to be together for before they allow themselves, knowingly, to be photographed in the same frame in public, at a rugby match or something. Full Story

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Royal Ear-Pulling

March 15, 2013 16:07:32 Posted at March 15, 2013 16:07:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
James Whatling/ Splash, Danny Martindale/ Getty

Is it like finger pulling? Don’t be a prude. You know finger pulling. Here, pull my finger. You’ve never pulled on someone’s finger? Or watched someone get their finger pulled? Look, I don’t like to be farted around. But I do enjoy a fart joke. I’m sure that ginger scamp Hot Harry on a Horse enjoys fart jokes too Full Story

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Our Little Royal Grape

March 13, 2013 14:31:45 Posted at March 13, 2013 14:31:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Baby Wales has a nickname! According to US Weekly, the Cambridges are calling the royal heir “Our Little Grape”. OLG? I prefer Baby Wales. As for whether or not the grape is a girl, US sources say William and Catherine have only told Prince Charles and her parents, not even Pippa. Full Story

Daughter...or Dog?

March 6, 2013 16:07:02 Posted at March 6, 2013 16:07:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

Everyone's all lathered up today because apparently, when Catherine Cambridge was in Grimsby yesterday, she may have revealed that the future monarch is female. US Weekly reports that: During the engagement, the expectant Duchess of Cambridge, 31, was given a white teddy bear by a local, Diane Burton. Full Story

Katy Cambridge: work after Swiss weekend

March 5, 2013 15:05:52 Posted at March 5, 2013 15:05:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet

After attending a wedding with William and Harry this weekend in Switzerland, Catherine Cambridge is back in England, on official business today in Grimsby where she visited the National Fishing Heritage Centre. As expected, Kate recycled -- this Hobbs coat was previously worn last year, on Valentine’s Day, in Liverpool. Full Story

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The Cambridges + Harry’s Swiss wedding weekend

March 4, 2013 15:07:24 Posted at March 4, 2013 15:07:24
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Bauer, James Whatling/ Splash

Oh rich people and their rich Swiss weddings... Prince Hot Harry tagged along with Prince William and his Catherine to attend the wedding of one of their friends in Switzerland this weekend. No Cressida? Maybe Harry didn’t get a plus one. Or maybe he didn’t insist. Hanging out with the excommunicated Aunt Fergie is one thing. Full Story

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