Get you’re dirty ass of that balcunny in Paris with Robert Pattinson, HE DOESN’T BELONG TO YOU!!!!!!!!! What’s funny? What’s FUNNY??? Do you think it’s funny to lie and make bad shinaniguns? Because Rob loves her and not you. Just like Bella loves Edward and NOT Jacob. Your not even 2nd best, you are in the dirt and I will kick it in your face. Full Story

Horniest place on the planet today? Definitely Tokyo. Robert Pattinson is there with New Moon director Chris Weitz on promotion and Brad Pitt just arrived without the Jolie and the babies sending the Hello Kitties into a lust frenzy from which they may never recover. Here’s the Hello Kitty philosophy: if you scream at them loud enough they will f-ck you. Full Story

I’m gloating. Click away if you can’t handle it. Because as I first reported exclusively back in June, Robert Pattinson covers the December issue of Vanity Fair, featured in a series of beautiful photos that explains the mass jizzing… They’ve been jizzing all weekend over these shots. Full Story

And all those ambitious parents on Toddlers & Tiaras, all of them are taking notes, admiring the latest move by the Cyruses who have written the definitive book on raising JailBait, following up their Miley masterpiece with what could very well be the Mona Lisa of all JailBait... Take a look at 9 year old Noah Cyrus at Jamie Lee Curtis's Halloween party on Saturday dressed as. Full Story

She’s the only member of the Twilight cast who’ll be considered for an Oscar this year and Anna Kendrick arrived in Vancouver yesterday after a triumphant appearance in London in support of Up In The Air for a few final days on set of Eclipse. She looks great, non? Especially after such a long flight. Full Story

It was a quiet Twilight weekend in Vancouver – with paps buzzing around and fans on the stalk, most cast members remained hidden, a few popping out only for brief outings, while the Big Three are now increasingly reluctant to roam around alone and unprotected. You would be too if you had to deal with lunatics who would do anything to get close to you. Full Story

Last night the Twilight Eclipse crew was back to work shooting under a bridge a “Seattle” scene with Bryce Dallas Howard and Xavier Samuel as “Victoria and Riley”. Victoria seduces Riley so that he’ll carry out her orders to make new vampires. As you can see, they’ve wigged out Bryce’s hair to resemble Rachelle Lefevre’s. Full Story

And back at the club. They spent 9 hours taking the Chicken Fried from brown back to blonde this weekend. 9 HOURS. And she was brunette for, like, maybe a month? 6 weeks? To me this is not worth the trouble. It is already excruciatingly boring sitting in a stylist’s chair, and for 9 F-CKING HOURS? How long does a perm take? Have always wanted a perm. Full Story

Winona Ryder looked very beautiful in Italy yesterday attending the Giffoni Film Festival. Beautiful, and not even so crazy even though she is so f-cking crazy. Love her, but it’s the truth. Remember she was all like, yeah we’ll be doing a Heathers sequel Full Story

Robert Pattinson? He doesn’t matter. Apparently, according to Jackie A from New York, what matters is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Who is divine. So the real Robert Pattinson, who wants to be an actor, apart from the Twilight hysteria, is irrelevant? This may not be the perspective of every Robert Pattinson fan, but it certainly is the perspective of a great many Twi-Hard. Full Story

These Twi-Hards…they’ve turned him into a goddamn fugitive. Every day they line the streets, waiting for a glimpse. And as soon as the glimpse comes, they start screaming. As you can see in this video Full Story

That’s what they’re hissing at her… At Emilie de Ravin, as she shoots with Robert Pattinson in New York today on the set of Remember Me, looking up at him beguilingly, so pretty, they are shouting it from every corner of the world: Don’t you f-cking look at him like that you bitch! Or I will cut you! Can you hear the Twi-Hards crying? There may actually be someone they hate more than me. Full Story

Because Robert Pattinson has a bruised and bloody face. It’s obviously makeup for a scene in Remember Me shooting in New York last night. But we all now know the Twi-hard inability to separate fact from fiction. The same way they truly believe Pattinson is Edward Cullen and should therefore be dating Bella/Kristen Stewart, which means they are probably heartbroken this morning at the site of these photos of their beloved looking like he’s been attacked by one of them. Full Story

Robert Pattinson continues to film Remember Me in New York – seen here yesterday on set in the afternoon and also on a night shoot. Now every Twi-hard wants to be an extra and wear a cropped top and a cowboy hat which is a much better strategy than strangling, non? At least that way he won’t be running in fear. Full Story