Vaginal Hard-on

November 13, 2009 11:33:49 Posted at November 13, 2009 11:33:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kristen Stewart is giving me one.

And I’ve no doubt she’s giving Anna Wintour one. It’s only a matter of time. Kristen Stewart covers Vogue. Soon. Before Posh. Yes. Must. Annie Leibovitz? Sure, I guess. But can you imagine Stewart in the hands of Steven Meisel? Or Steven Klein? Please. Sapphic Moists is me.

These are the artists who should be shooting Kristen Stewart. It would yield some sick ass results. Unlike that bullsh-t in Harper’s Bazaar. Why do I keep yapping about it? Because it’s a f-cking TRAVESTY. Picture Johnny Depp in one of Kate Hudson’s trite romantic comedies.

Did you just flinch?

Gag?

Puke?

Exactly.

The Harper’s Bazaar photo spread was the sartorial equivalent of Johnny Depp in Fool’s Gold. Bah.

Anyway, look at this girl. In Madrid at the Twilight New Moon fan event, a modern punk private school girl with peek-a-boo sheer and coverage in the right places, courtesy Balenciaga, accessorised with a hint of saucy f-ck you attitude, Stewart’s style has been nothing short of remarkable so far during this press tour. And New York and LA are still to come.

Perhaps before then she can give her co-stars a hand. Taylor Lautner’s side lean is becoming a problem. And Robert Pattinson’s mothering hips have made their return. I am in the office today working with Laura. She warned me that if I brought up the mothering hips that we would have words. I guess we’ll be having words.

And the Twi-Hard collective moan continues. Now they are rubbing themselves over Catherine Hardwicke’s Time Magazine interview during which she revealed that Stewart confided to her that she has decided to explore her feelings for Pattinson. Needless to say, the Twi-Hards have lost their sh-t. In the spirit of their mass jizz-fest, I am posting this photo that was sent to my Twitter, the ultimate culmination of Twi-Hard devotion:

Robsten Spawning



Photos from Wenn.com

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