Chills Chills Chills Articles
Another award season without the GMD
Splash, INF
Maybe he’ll be invited to present at the SAGs or the Oscars. So far though, his name has not appeared in relation to the Globes. And he certainly won’t hear his name called on January 24th when the Academy announces its nominees. So we’ll get little of Tom Cruise and, therefore, the presentation of Katie Holmes, on the carpets this season. Full Story
The GMD is an auror?
Gawker profiled The Delphian School today. It’s K-12, at $42,000 a year per student, even though it’s not yet accredited, though in the process, and was founded by Scientologists. The way the students themselves describe it, it’s like, um, Hogwarts for Xenu people. Click here Full Story
Why weren’t you at the Xenu party?
Saturday night in Hollywood, there was a big Scientology party attended by some of Xenu’s most ardent disciples including John Travolta and wife Kelly Preston, Priscilla Presley, Juliette Lewis, Jenna Elfman, and Jason Lee, who looked hotter than he has in a long time. You can see the photos here Full Story
Robo: bland and crazy
Letterman’s guest last night was Ricky Gervais. Over on The Tonight Show it was equally as boisterous as Jay Leno welcomed Katie Holmes. Hardly. That girl... Is so boring... And maybe she knows it. Maybe that’s why she put on the red pants. I didn’t care for the red pants. I think it’s the shade of red that’s the problem, especially in combination with that the colour of her crochet jumper. Full Story
Little Sci is the only explanation…
For why Katie Holmes stepped out like this in New York last night. The only. After all, she has said before that Suri picks out her clothes. God I hope so. Because if a grown woman had put all this together, and one who calls herself a “designer” at that, well f-ck me it’s worse than we all thought. Full Story
The GMD on high alert
Get the popcorn ready. There’s a war coming. And it looks like we all get to watch. And they’re doing it Hollywood revenge styles. So, like, totally our favourite kind of catfight. Only this might bring a few more chills. Remember how Paul Haggis, Oscar-winning director, used to be a Scientologist – for over 30 years! – and he realised how f-cked they are so he broke up with Xenu in 2009 and threatened to go public with what he knows? Well… It sounds like he’s going public. Full Story
You’re allowed to drive for Christmas
With a chaperone. At least that looks like a chaperone. With Katie Holmes. Yesterday leaving the gym. The photo agencies are calling her companion a “friend”, but you know, where Xenu is concerned, only “approved” friends are allowed. So this friend must be Church-friendly, and can you really call that a real friend? Well, small victories, I suppose. Full Story
They chose, or Xenu chose?
Curious timing... Yesterday I wrote about Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman, wondering, even though it’s none of my goddamn business, as to the whereabouts of her first two children Isabella and Connor. Click here for a refresher. Judging from my inbox, it was easily yesterday’s most popular post. Full Story
Emmy Breakup Thinnification
Kelly Osbourne ditched her boyfriend Luke Worrell about six weeks after she supposedly caught him cheating. She arrived at the Emmys with a very small waist in a very tight dress – looked lovely, sure, but that’s a lot of littleness that seems to have happened over a short period of time. Full Story
Little Sci is to blame
How many times have we looked at a Katie Holmes outfit and asked what is that f-ckedupNESS that you are wearing? Thank you Lafayette. We have Little Sci Suri Cruise to blame. At least that’s what Katie says. It’s a new interview with New York Magazine under the pretence of “fall fashion” but really, they probably just wanted to get up close and observe her freaky zombie life for themselves. Full Story
A Big NOT Sci party
Here’s what’s weird: Every night I scan the photo agencies so I can get a sense of what I might write about the next day. These photos were up right before I went to bed – Will Smith with Jada and the GMD and several other celebrities and the photo agency was calling it a “Scientology party”. Full Story
The GMD: his bff is laughing too
He’s been a pop culture punch line for years now thanks to his fontrum-y love for Katie Holmes and Oprah’s couch and Matt Lauer’s glibness and, well, somewhere along the way, Tom Cruise just became painfully uncool. So we laugh at him. But did you expect Xenu to be laughing at him too? His very, very best friend? The best man at his wedding? His fellow little macho man David Miscavige? According to Mark Rathbun, an ex Church member who’s been spilling its secrets, the GMD was required to record his deepest darkest secrets per Scientology policy – I guess it’s how they heal each other. Full Story
Indistinguishable
I’m telling you, Tom Cruise Jr really IS Tom Cruise Jr. In so many ways. This is Taylor Lautner leaving LAX today. Side by side, see for yourself. Right? And the security detail too. It’s the same! Tom Cruise and Tom Cruise Jr. They same body type, the same aviators, Jr’s even working the jaw clench now, and of course the same plastic machine Hollywood attitude. Full Story
Xenu fertility
For the rest of the world, most of the time, babies are conceived when two people get together and have sex. On occasion, when that isn’t successful, science is involved. These procedures however do not include purging aliens from our reproductive tracts. Unless of course you’re a member of the Church of Xenu. Full Story