Robert Pattinson

November 5, 2009 06:25:32 Posted at November 5, 2009 06:25:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is the sure bet. This is the PROBABLE choice. If you were forced at gunpoint to bet your mortgage on a candidate, it would be him, it would be the safest. People Magazine likes pleasing people. Pattinson is the Goliath. It’s his to lose.

But I am a gambler…

Take it easy Twi-Hards, it’s not because I don’t like him. I’m actually rather indifferent. I do think he will be the SMA eventually. But if we’ve conceded that one day the title will be his, does it have to be THIS day?

Arguments for:

  • He’s very, very pretty
  • He’s very, very, very pretty
  • He’s prettier than everyone
  • His meteoric rise. Pattinson is undoubtedly one of the most famous faces on the planet. His has been an impressive ascent fueled by a fanbase that is at best ardent, at worst obsessed, and at its most alarming, f-cking crazy
  • This fanbase, the Twilight Nation, will buy anything. And the bottom line is always a consideration. People wants to sell. Twi-Hards will buy. If they name Edward Cullen the Sexiest Man Alive, they will reward the magazine with A LOT of money
  • In case you haven’t heard, Summit is marketing a movie called New Moon. In case you haven’t heard, Robert Pattinson is the star of New Moon


Arguments against:

  • Most of Pattinson’s predecessors have had to rough it before becoming it. Pattinson is beautiful. But beyond Twilight he is still unproven. Pay your dues, boy
  • There is time. After New Moon there is still at least one more movie. Think of the Lord of the Rings example. The Oscar came after the final film was released
  • At only 23 years old with undoubtedly more opportunities, with more respectable projects, Pattinson will be a contender each and every year. Giving it to him now could deprive him of one later on. He can’t win it at 24, and 25, and 26, and 27, as much as Twi-Hards want him to, it’s just not reasonable
  • The Man Cred. Does he have any Man Cred? Depp has Man Cred. Pitt does too. And Clooney. Even McConaughey. And definitely Jackman. The ladies love Rob. And that’s certainly the priority. But the Sexiest Man Alive is usually accepted by the men too. Pattinson is still very short on Man Cred
  • Most importantly though…as much as the studio wants it… does HE want it? Pattinson appears to be an unwilling and uncomfortable heartthrob. His reluctance seems genuine. In the past, the SMA has held this title with pride. The offer is extended by the magazine. He usually accepts gracefully and eagerly. And he takes his victory lap with humility but also with a sense of duty. It’s like winning a beauty pageant. The crown comes with great responsibility. And it rests not on the head of an awkward, fumbling monarch, but on a king who will bear it confidently. By all accounts, Pattinson is not ready for this level of fame and attention. And if he does end up courting and receiving the prize, his shy guy, oh no not me routine, wouldn’t that be totally disingenuous?
  • He WILL be the Sexiest Man Alive eventually. For sure. But he needs to grow into it


Pattinson is the favourite. Totally. But my money’s on someone else.

Odds: 2 to 1

Previous Article Next Article