Tough call for you, isn't it? One's an elitist condescending, allegedly undeserving bitch, the other a wastebag ingrate making a mockery of music and his entire career... How to choose? GOOPy or Douchey? Well it's obvious for me. GOOPs of course. You know I love my GOOPs. And you know she hates Joaquin Phoenix. Full Story

That loser was in Miami last night “performing”. Was heckled from the crowd and deservedly so which prompted Joaquin to jump the dude. Melee ensued, Phoenix is hauled away, Casey Affleck naturally shot the whole thing, and they probably laughed about it at the hotel afterwards the entire night. Full Story

They said they would shake things up. Well, they shook up some parts, but it still ended up being too long. And, more importantly, FEELING too long. The entire middle section was Benjamin Button. So there is no way Danny Glover stayed awake. None. Hugh Jackman? If I’m honest, there were moments I was a little embarrassed for him. Full Story

See? Three for three. Maybe it should be a daily feature. It’s must see TV. The video is below – Joaquin Phoenix behaving like a petulant child forced to go Aunt Mabel’s house last night with Letterman. No doubt he’s a douche. But the question this morning, on top of his recent shenanigans – the rapping, the retirement – was this just another chapter in his unfunny, ongoing F-ck You vanity project? Casey Affleck travelled with Joaquin to New York, attended the Letterman taping with him, and was seen with his camera, presumably documenting the entire awkward, embarrassing experience. Full Story

Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck departed LAX for New York yesterday. Imagine if he sat down next to you on a plane? This is my greatest fear on a flight. The people around me, the person next to me. As you know, I always end up with the kid close by. And that kid is always screaming. If that kid is behind me, it usually kicks too. Full Story

So yesterday, Entertainment Weekly, after hearing from Joaquin Phoenix sources, reported that his recent rap journey is actually an elaborate hoax to be filmed by Casey Affleck for a mockumentary about celebrity meltdowns. Full Story

Many of you kind hearted souls were worried about Joaquin Phoenix - his unkempt appearance, his BYE GOOD retirement, his bizarre antics - and you appealed to have him classified as sad smut. JP is not sad smut. But he is a f-cking loser. So the rap endeavour, his explanation to People Magazine that it's his life's dream in hip hop - not so. Full Story

CAUTION! NUDITY! In the UK Sun today - a screen cap of Gwyneth Paltrow from the upcoming Two Lovers costarring Joaquin Phoenix in which my G appears to be having phone sex exposing a lovely left breast. Full Story

Ugh. What happened to Joaquin Phoenix? As you know, he said BYE GOOD to acting and instead has chosen to document his attempt to become a rap artist – yes, a rap artist – with bestie Casey Affleck. Apparently hip-hop is his life’s love, and he is now dedicated to pursuing the perfect rhyme. Full Story

Just last night in Miami – this is Joaquin Phoenix. Oh Joaquin… It’s the elastic holding back half his hair that twists the knife in your heart, non? As you know, Joaquin recently announced his “retirement” from acting, spelling it out for us on his hands: BYE GOOD. He’s apparently pursuing a recording career to be documented by good friend Casey Affleck. Full Story

Remember last week when it was reported that Joaquin Phoenix jumped the stage at some club and threw down a few rhymes? Thank the good Shiloh someone had the presence of mind to video it. Here he is, MC Bye Good, sucking the largest ass donkey sh-t of all time. How does someone become such a loser? How did Joaquin Phoenix, formerly the #1 spot on the Freebie Five, how did he become P Diddy? Apparently Casey Affleck is shooting all of this for his doc. Full Story

So Joaquin Phoenix said he was retiring from acting to focus on music. We all made the assumption that he would slowly fade away based on his reclusive personality and his handwriting a few weeks ago: BYE GOOD. Happily this does not seem to be the case. Even the ones who shun the spotlight can’t help their addiction to the spotlight…see? How else can you explain this? Turns out Joaquin is shooting a doc with close friend Casey Affleck chronicling his journey from actor to musician. Full Story

Someone like Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t pick a dress like this thinking it’s the most beautiful thing ever. She didn’t see it delivered from her stylist and actually believe everyone on the blogs - you, me, the haters, the MiniVan fashion conservatives who actually think Jennifer Aniston’s a style icon – would lose their sh-t over the beauty of her choice. Full Story

We get it. You’re leaving. Your artistic integrity is being raped by Hollywood. You find fame unsavoury. You cannot bear the hypocrisy, manipulation, the exploitation. You’re going. But if that’s the case, why show up on the red carpet for Chen and your own Two Lovers and make a spectacle of yourself? This is Joaquin Phoenix on Saturday looking super clean and totally sober and refusing to remove the ciggie from his mouth with a message for all of us written across his knuckles: GOOD BYE. Full Story