Tell John Mayer…
That Megan Fox is single. Because she is totally his type. This is after all a dude who used to admit to racking up thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars on internet porn and phone sex. Something tells me Jennifer Aniston isn’t exactly the go-to beat off inspiration for those seeking stimulation along those avenues.
Megan Fox on the other hand... totally.
And Megan Fox is now available. Us Weekly is reporting that she’s finally freed herself from Brian Austin Green after 5 years of togetherness, over 2 years of engagedness. That’s a good made up word. I love it.
So anyway, now that she’s not attached to that loser anymore, and since she’s part of the big box office Transformers machine, it’s time to hook her up with someone else. Someone fun. Someone who will shake up our smutty little cesspool.
The natural answer is John Mayer.
Jennifer Aniston lost out on her ex husband to Angelina Jolie.
Jennifer Aniston loses out on the next love of her life to an Angelina Jolie wannabe.
If you love gossip, you know it couldn’t get any better. It would make our gossip lives. A new triangle on top of the old triangle. Intersecting triangles. See? It hasn’t even happened yet and you’re excited! I’m excited!
Dear John Mayer: please don’t disappoint us.
Photos from WENN.com