Sasha Answers: My boyfriend wants a threesome

February 19, 2013 19:10:00 Posted at February 19, 2013 19:10:00
Sasha Posted by Sasha

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 10 years and he’s been pushing for a few months now, for us to have a threesome. And if was I to agree to it, I’d be the one picking the other girl. That, to him, should be an incentive for me to agree to the threesome, but the thing is, I have absolutely no interest in this. I tell him no every time he brings it up, and now he’s saying he wants us to take a break, but he wants to be honest with me and the only reason why he’d want to go on a break is so that he’d be able to explore sexually, but he doesn’t want to break up permanently because he loves me.

The thing is, I’m more than willing to explore every single one of his fantasies, but I just do not want to share my bed with anyone else but him, that’s where I put my foot down. I told him that if we were to go on a break so that he could be with other girls, he should consider us done for good (I’m not really sure how much I truly mean that deep down, but I really front like I seriously mean it). I’d really hate to lose him over that. S

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S, I’m like you. I have no interest nor will I ever have any interest in threesomes. Maybe when I’m like 90 and my vagina is an asbestos filled mess then it might be beneficial to have two people to clean it out, but for right now, I’m all good. But honestly, the threesome thing isn’t as much the issue for me as it is that your boyfriend is bullying you to do something you’re not comfortable with. 

Now, of course, there are lots of people who enjoy threesomes – great - and I’m sure a lot of them weren’t completely sold on it until they tried it; congratulations trios, I’m happy for you. But the fact here is that you’re not ready to do it, so for him to dangle a break up over your head is not only lame, it’s a bit of a red flag.

So let me get this straight. He’s basically telling you he wants to tap out for a bit so that he can get his rocks off, and then when he’s ready, he’ll come back to you until he finds it too boring again.  Um, that sucks.  And S, you need to see what a raw-ass deal that is, because I can promise you that if this is the pattern you set up for your future with him you will be so, so, so unhappy.   

Look, I think he has every right to fulfill his sexual fantasies, but he needs to find the right partner for that and so do you.  If he’s not willing to compromise on what he wants, why should you be forced to? 

Keep me posted on how this all unfolds.  And keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming to sasha@laineygossip.com
 
 

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