Best of 2009 Articles

Best of 2009: Johnny’s Birthday

December 31, 2009 15:06:53 Posted at December 31, 2009 15:06:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Entertainment Weekly named him Best of the Decade. For damn sure. He totally owned it. Up and down and all around, with the arty pics and the big blockbusters, and the cool factor, and the transition – from tortured bad boy to enigmatic family man, no one is the Depp. And this video of his birthday – a cake being presented to him in June in Puerto Rico during the filming of The Rum Diary, he is so humbled, genuinely moved by the gesture, and gracious in accepting it. Full Story

Best of 2009: Porny at the Chili Cook-off!

December 31, 2009 14:51:46 Posted at December 31, 2009 14:51:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Please. You know it was coming. There’s a special place in my heart for Jessica Simpson. She isn’t evil inside like Ebola Hilton. Porny’s issues stem from her father’s f-ckery, and the lack of true friendship and brain mass. But she’s not ill intentioned. There is genuine affection here. Full Story

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Best of 2009: It’s a famine of beauty!

December 31, 2009 08:30:09 Posted at December 31, 2009 08:30:09
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s a famine of beauty, honey! My eyes are stahving for beauty!This was my ringtone for a few months earlier in the year. Oh Andre Leon Talley. Oh Anna Wintour. Or Grace f-cking brilliant Coddington… It’s not just the quote, it’s every minute of The September Issue. Full Story

Worst of 2009: Ed Westwick at Teen Choice

December 30, 2009 08:23:39 Posted at December 30, 2009 08:23:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey

You’ve blocked it out, haven’t you? My Shamef-ck showed up at Teen Choice in August shamef-cking me to hell in his rolled up jeans and no socks and loafers, puckering his lips and posing like a cross dressing private school punk ballerina stuck inside a music box, what? I don’t know what. Full Story

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Best of 2009: Belligerate!

December 29, 2009 09:20:10 Posted at December 29, 2009 09:20:10
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I was originally planning to write one massive Twi-Hard hatemail post to commemorate their email amazingness over the last year but then new photos of Robert Pattinson emerged today so why not split them up, highlighting some of the best? I wonder if you’ve forgotten some of their gems. Pattinson was spotted in London with his sister, having spent time with family for the holiday. Full Story

Best of 2009: Neil Patrick Harris

December 24, 2009 08:22:37 Posted at December 24, 2009 08:22:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey

He was everywhere, but not too much. He was nominated but didn’t win. He is nominated for a Golden Globe but will not host the show. He did however host the Tony Awards and the Emmy Awards and totally owned both nights and looked really, really handsome doing it. This was a year for Neil Patrick Harris. Full Story

Worst of 2009: Robo Dance

December 23, 2009 10:23:22 Posted at December 23, 2009 10:23:22
Lainey Posted by Lainey

For weeks she was at the dance studio, and the paps were waiting, and the publicists were whipping us all into an anticipatory frenzy – Katie Holmes to perform on So You Think You Can Dance! Then she went to Australia to film a new movie… What? Oh, so it was pre-taped. Right. Well at least she looked good. Full Story

Best of 2009: Kristen Stewart steeze

December 23, 2009 08:53:57 Posted at December 23, 2009 08:53:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Apart from that dumbass Harper’s Bazaar shoot for the Sears catalogue which was totally not her fault, Kristen Stewart made very few missteps this year on and off the carpet. Not everyone can pull off a Joan Jett mullet the way Kristen Stewart pulls off a mullet – with a middle finger in the face of those who insist that girls should wear pretty bows and ringlets. Full Story

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Best of 2009: American Sweetheart BitchFace

December 22, 2009 15:32:47 Posted at December 22, 2009 15:32:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Nothing like a bitchface that lies underneath the milk and honey. And for so many it’s so hard to believe. Because most of her characters have such sunny dispositions. Again, why is it that people can easily accept that politicians are liars and never the actors when the actors PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE for a living? In university one of my favourite political science courses was a 2nd year elective on The American Presidents. Full Story

Worst of 2009: Clingy SJP

December 22, 2009 08:17:15 Posted at December 22, 2009 08:17:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It was the un-fun Photo Assumption, images of a wife apparently so grateful that her husband simply agreed to go out with her two nights in a row she could not conceal her gratitude and relief and insecurity on the carpet, even as photographers were shooting away. It was April 2009. And there had been many months of speculation that Matthew Broderick was stepping out on their marriage. Full Story

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Best & Worst 2009: The attempted strangling of RP

December 21, 2009 16:10:09 Posted at December 21, 2009 16:10:09
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Worst obviously because those crazy bitches could have hurt him, undeterred by the piss poor security, and best obviously because for those of us who are endlessly amused by the Twi-Hardery, this was some funny sh-t. Many of you were initially skeptical about all that hatemail – when you are sane, it’s difficult to imagine the behaviour of those who are very much not sane. Full Story

Worst of 2009: Robo Gumby & Stumpy

December 21, 2009 15:39:31 Posted at December 21, 2009 15:39:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Remember when Robo went to Washington for Memorial Day events and walked around on stilts? …the f-ck was up with these giant long leg pants? Five minutes later she was wearing terribly unflattering “mom on holiday” jeans. Indeed, 2009 gave us many Robo assy style moments. Some she designed, some others designed, and all made worse by her “creative eye”, now on sale at Maxfield, one of the most high priced exclusive shoppes in Los Angeles. Full Story

Best/Worst of 2009: Fergie Wedding Cheese

December 17, 2009 14:16:38 Posted at December 17, 2009 14:16:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Maybe if you sell your wedding photos to a magazine you’re just f-cking asking for it. In light of what happened after… well… enough said. Remember these pictures? The original article is here and the entire album is here Full Story