Bear went to the John Travolta?

August 1, 2012 17:57:00 Posted at August 1, 2012 17:57:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Well, not quite. John Travolta likes his rub'n'tuggers to be men. It appears Jennifer Lopez's boyfriend prefers to be jerked off by proper female sex workers and not unsuspecting massage therapists. 

IN TOUCH Weekly is reporting that Casper Smart went to an "exotic massage parlour" last week in NYC a day before JLo's bday party and was serviced by "Bibi" who says he was "in a big hurry" and "lasted for 10 minutes". Also "he is a nice man (and) he has strong muscles".

And even though Casper's rep insists he was only in the neighbourhood to get a tattoo, some other eye witness who works at a gay peep show also confirms the sighting.

But, but, but...!

What about care bears!??!

Bear would never wever no way buster cheat on Bear, would he?

Bear loves Bear so much! Bear and Bear are forevers!

Yes. They are. Well, she thinks they are. Still. And will continue to until after she marries and divorces him. Because stories like this, they will only draw them closer.

IN TOUCH. Is sketch is what it is, this entire report.

Bibi? Does she get a real name? How reliable is a witness called Bibi with no last name who works at a wank shoppe and, frankly, given her circumstances, would probably say anything for a little cash and some excitement? Come on.

Not that I don't think Casper Bear is full of sh-t. Of course l do. But you can't nail his ass with bad gossip. You can't nail his ass with IN TOUCH. She stayed with Ben Affleck even after he went to the peeler bar and put his fingers into a dancer, and she'll dismiss this story about her Bear and Bibi because that's exactly what she does -- she clings to the truths she needs to believe, and she loses reason when she needs to love.

Casper Bear is quiet but she could feel his pain. His pain was loud. It was screaming through his clenched fists, his tight jaw, the veins in his temple. He turned to her:

I don't want to be an embarrassment to you. These people, they look down on me and they don't think I deserve you, and they're trying to make me into an embarrassment. I don't want you to go through that. You don't need that in your life. You don't need the stress. Just let me go, ok? Just let go and you won't have to have this in your face. I will walk away so that you can have that peace of mind. Just let me go.

Casper Bear pulls away and starts packing. JLo passionately approaches him and turns him around but he won't meet her eyes:

Baby look at me. Look at me, baby. Into my eyes. Right there. What do you see? I know you. Because what I see is truth. Us. We are the truth. That's all we need. Just us. Together. Don't you ever doubt that that's what's right here and right now. Don't sacrifice that. It only makes us stronger.

Tears down his face. She wipes them away with her thumb. Hard kiss.

See?

What's crazy about Jennifer Lopez is that this is the sh-t that actually gets her married. They'll grow closer because of it. More intense, more urgent. Next thing you know they're engaged.
 

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