What is the point of Eva Longoria? What is the reason for Eva Longoria? Is there a reason for Eva Longoria? I don’t understand. Like, this dress. This dress, the colour, this colour is for food. Some food colours don’t belong on a dress. This food colour doesn’t belong on this dress. Full Story

Colour, cut, fit, shoes (SHOEs!!!)…without question, last night belonged to Evan Rachel Wood. Marilyn Manson clouds are receding… Evan Rachel Wood is re-emerging. And how. She has been perfect all awards season. Cannot wait for Oscar. As for those of you who still won’t forgive her for Dita homewreckage – I’ll argue for her: She was a child with lofty ideals and naïve underdog sympathies. Full Story

Katie Holmes presenting Best Actor? Why? Because she’s married to the Gay Midget Dwarf? Because her Little Sci is Hollywood’s most popular baby? Because the MiniVan Majority wants it to be? Yes, yes, and yes. At the very least then, Katie knew her role. She did not walk the carpet. But of course not. Full Story

They were noticeably more chatty last night, right? They worked the press line separately and even stopped for E! because there was no Seacrest… not that Guiliana DeSh-ts didn’t do her best to annoy them: - Have you become a better woman/man since being with Brad Pitt/the Jolie?- What have you learned from falling for him/her? … the f-ck? Both soured. Full Story

Forget Robin’s saggy sateeny dress. It’s unflattering yes. But they look great together. Whatever holds it together. And it’s HIM. Sean Penn is all sex. There was never a question as to why he’s the love of Madonna’s life. Of course he was. The danger. The attitude. The artist. Full Story

Is she in a hair rut? I feel like she’s in a hair rut. And a dress rut too. Like, enough with the flared bottom mermaid business. It’s tired. And while black is never bad, and of course she doesn’t look bad, she also looks boring. Seen it a thousand times, almost as though she didn’t care. Full Story

Awards season means the likes of Lauren Conrad are shoved to the side…have you noticed? It’s time for real stars, real celebrity, so f-ck off reality twats because Meryl Streep has just won a SAG. Wearing a pantsuit. Heh. Love that Meryl is never super appreciative. That she doesn’t have to be. Full Story

Please. Find her a stylist. Or sack the existing one. It’s a crime this girl, as gorgeous as she is, cannot live up to her true potential on a big night. Because at every major carpet this season, Freida Pinto is wearing a prom dress. SAG was no exception. It’s the colour. Gross. It’s the old lady weaving in the chest area that screams Arlene’s Dress Shoppe – for all your fancy occasions! Brutal. Full Story

Two years ago at the Golden Globes, ready to emerge from her divorce, Reese Witherspoon showed up at the Globes wearing a bright yellow strapless cocktail length Nina Ricci in one of the freshest looks of the season. It’s a different colour and obviously not exactly the same, but something about Tina Fey reminded me of Reese last night. Full Story

Desperate Housewives is still bringing big ratings. This explains why they’re still invited. But really…it’s not 2004 anymore. People may care about the show, but no one cares about the actors. So far all intents and purposes, it’s like they’re CSI, you know what I mean? This must be why they insist on slapping us in the face on the carpet for fear we won’t notice. Full Story

Washed her out. Badly. She has such beautiful skin. Normally it pops. The taupe stopped the pop. The taupe killed the pop. Duana took issue with the chest area. The way the tulle is pinned - it’s a mess. And look closely. See if you can zoom in to where the bodice meets the skirt. The exposed stitching…it’s WHITE. Full Story

It’s a real woman’s body, right? Especially in this dress. Authentic breasts, the presence of hips – HIPS! – and curves and an ass and she’s fit, but she eats too, and while there may or may not be some Spanx activation, at the same time you also know she’s not a double user like Beyonce, who sucks in that sh-t with two pairs on the regular and sometimes, they say, even three. Full Story

That’s a sick body. But that is also a low classy looking dress. And it breaks my heart. Because as you know, Emily Blunt is a favourite. But this…this is budget. When the seam that splits from her breasts does not travel a straight line down, all the way down, to me that screams cheap. It’s unpolished. Full Story

She’s normally at hot mess at awards shows. Like, Jenna Fischer canNOT get it together. So, all things considered, this isn’t bad. Nothing stands out, nothing offends, nothing terribly remarkable, the hair is soft and wavy, the makeup soft and pretty, the breasts respectfully and not garishly on display…. Full Story