Gwyneth in white, red lips, and vaginas

September 17, 2013 14:52:44 Posted at September 17, 2013 14:52:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
TRY CW /WENN

Gwyneth Paltrow's been wearing a lot of white. Is it the Hugo Boss thing? Last night she wore white with pockets. I can get behind most dresses with pockets. I wish this particular dress wasn't a tank but I do like this mid-length which is supposed to be THE length of the season, the season now being fall, and how is it already fall? My summer officially sucked. Didn't play golf, not once. Didn't go swimming, not once.

G's summer, on the other hand, was, naturally, perfect. There was a trip to Spain. There were a few blissful weeks in London. And August was spent in the Hamptons, at posh white garden parties featuring no other colours.

G and family are now in LA for a while where she's booting around on her scooter causing controversy. I received a lot of mail last week about G's riding habits, many of you sh-tting on her for reckless driving and being a queue-cutter at the school run. A few of you however argued, somewhat, in her favour, including Sarah from Cinesnark, who used to live in LA and also used to ride in LA and dropped some wisdom on my ass about ride etiquette. I've attached her note at the bottom of this article.

For now, this is G at last night's premiere of Thanks For Sharing. G plays the love interest of Mark Ruffalo's character who is a recovering sex addict. Ruffalo, unfortunately, wasn't there and he skipped TIFF too. Word is there's been a death in the family. So Gwyneth's doing the promoting without him which is how she ended up on her friend Chelsea Handler's show talking about cigarettes and vaginas. She smokes every weekend, one. You've heard this before. As for her being naked in Thanks For Sharing, well, you’ve heard that too, because it’s really just an excuse to talk about how hard she works out.

"You're a sex addict," Handler said jokingly as Paltrow sat down for the interview. "Well, basically I was a really normal person," Paltrow fired back, "and then I started hanging out with you all the time."

Being friends with Paltrow, Handler could poke some fun at her guest...by posting a promotional pic for the movie of Paltrow wearing sexy black lingerie, for example.

"You're naked a lot," Handler said of Paltrow's role in the movie. "Well, not naked...right?"
"Well, almost," Paltrow admitted.
"Do you show your vagina?" Handler asked. "Only to you," replied Paltrow.

It's understandable why putting Paltrow in lingerie would be part of the movie's marketing campaign. TheIron Man 3 star looked radiant walking out onto the stage, sporting a slim Michael Kors suit and very high heels.

"What a vision!" Handler said, greeting her guest. "Thank you for taking time out from working out to come here." Source

There’s always one girl in a group of girlfriends who’s always talking about her vagina. In my group of friends, that’s me. I’m the one who feels no way about getting naked and talking about my poo and my pussy, often in the same sentence. Chelsea obviously assumes that role among G’s crew. But I feel like G might be a little bit like that too. Or Cameron Diaz. Or both. But definitely not Reese Witherspoon.

PS. A note on red lips when they’re thin lips – do you think they make women look old?

Sarah on Gwyneth’s scooter action:
The rules there are all in favor of the biker. Lane splitting, coasting on reds, it's pretty much anything goes. (Gwyneth) is driving like an asshole (but only because her kid is on board--I'm not going to pretend I haven't done the exact same thing a dozen times), but the biker's assumption, in California, is that they're always right. If they can go, GO. That's why there are so many bikers (and biker gangs) in California. The right of way always go to the biker, and it makes for a very motorcycle-friendly atmosphere. I hear Phoenix is the same way, and also has a strong biker/gang community.
Anyway--she should know better than to do that kind of thing with her kid on her scooter, but she wasn't, technically speaking, wrong. If there's a space and she pulls out, the driver yields to her.

PS: I don't know that school's rules, but my experience was that bikes sitting in stalled traffic with cars was INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS. It's always better to queue bikes separately, park them separately (I get heart palpitations seeing motorcycles/scooters parking in with cars), and lane splitting is the only way to handle traffic jams if you're on a bike. Drivers just don't see you, and if you're stationary, the risk of someone in a big-ass SUV or truck not seeing you and running you over go up exponentially. The parents can bitch about her cutting the line, but that's way better than one of them driving a f-cking Escalade and mowing down Gwyneth Paltrow on a Vespa. That would be an international incident.

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