Seriously… Why can’t they just hold hands? Just once? The GMD took his Robo out for dinner last night and as you can see, as usual, he had to present her to the paps, guiding her like a delicate lady child to and from the restaurant. You will note they coordinated fabrics before heading out. Full Story

Exclusive. Rumours are circulating via tabloids right now that it’ll be George Clooney to play the Lone Ranger opposite Johnny Depp’s Tonto. Not exactly inspired casting… But now an interesting twist. Am told exclusively that Tom Cruise knocked on the House of the Mouse last Thursday and asked to be considered for the part. Full Story

Equus opened on Broadway last night with Daniel Radcliffe receiving rave reviews. Much more enthusiastic than Katie Holmes’s debut a week earlier. Oh but he’s…. so not cute anymore. Photos attached of Dan on stage and at the afterparty with his gross pubey facial hair in an awkward, if you’re trying to be ironic it’s definitely not working, dorky looking suit. Full Story

It’s like a menstrual cycle the way he operates. Very predictable. As mentioned yesterday, it’s been weeks since Tom’s been sighted. But previews for All My Sons begin today, so of course, of course he picked up Katie after final rehearsal yesterday. With great fanfare. Glum and gloomy every time the paps shoot her solo, suddenly KatE lights up when her little man rounds the corner. Full Story

The Jonas Brothers at the Disney’s City of Hope Benefit Concert at Universal Studios yesterday proudly showing off their much talked about purity rings. Duana and I on Skype just 5 minutes ago… Me: Those Jonas Brothers purity rings – will they stay virgins? Du: What kind of virgins? Like vagina virgins? Um…yeah… because they’re gay?!?! Then there’s Michelle. Full Story

Tara Reid cleaned herself up at the mall last night, hiding her hacked up abs under a short black dress, to attend the red carpet of The Women in LA. Um…which junior publicist invited Ghetto Tits to the premiere of a film about female friendships and the experiences that test them??? Dumb. Have not seen The Women so can’t say if it’s alright but even if it’s not alright, can’t it still be a success? Wild Hogs sucked large donkey ass – three middle aged men and one flying pilot hidden homo in a “family movie” managed to earn over $100 million at the box office. Full Story

It makes my life: seeing the GMD “present” his Robo. And it’s even more welcome since it’s been so long - months maybe since we’ve seen the Presentation: he holding her hand ceremoniously, a princess introducing his well-trained princess to a hungry public, this time in matching black and shades. Full Story

For the GMD, if marriage was a strategic move, and you know my thoughts on that, then in hindsight I’m sure we can all agree – a tactical error. Because Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes make each other assy. She looks assy when she’s with him, he looks assy when he’s with her. Alone though, when he’s on his own, and not holding her in a death grip with his short arms wrapped around her waist, when he’s flying solo with no Goose of a wife, the GMD is much more appealing. Full Story

Every day we see her heading to work, Robo puts on a scowl face. But this morning...this morning the sun came out. This morning, the gay who made her life gripped her hand and walked her to work. All is right with Katie’s world. No wonder she’s smiling wide and clear! Check out the GMD, now in NYC, chivalrously dropping off his RoboBride, walking her ten steps from the car to the door. Full Story

Look at him. Wearing every colour under the rainbow, no pun intended, and too new jeans….and a jacket that shines? It shines! It shines with a sheen! Have you ever seen anyone as UNcool as Tom Cruise? Why work so hard working out only to wear a purple sweater in Los Angeles in the middle of f&cking August??? Here they are at last night’s Tropic Thunder premiere scaring the sh*t out of everyone, as usual, with their over-exuberance. Full Story

Ok we have to go back to this. Because it’s not just tucked behind her ears… it’s actually cut right off. And the cut itself is all good. Even great. Am all over it. The cut in combination with the androgyny and the scientology and the looming gay midget, as ass backwards as that sounds, is what makes it creepy creepy. Full Story

Man or Woman? Katie Holmes is not quite there yet, but YET is the operative word. The difference is butchy girls are proud of their style choices. Katie on the other hand really wants to be girly but must honour her husband and play like a man. This is Katie heading to rehearsal today in NYC, still wearing those assy jeans, but now they’re paired with accessories. Full Story

After being trapped at sea on family holiday with the GMD, Katie Holmes has arrived in NYC to throw herself into some serious rehearsal time for her Broadway debut in All My Sons. A supertoned KatE was seen out and about today, clutching a binder, showing off some cut arms, and wearing those ridiculous jeans. Full Story

David and Victoria Beckham and their boys flew via private plane to Telluride yesterday to join the Tom Cruise on his ranch for a short visit. As you can see, the GMD personally arrived to pick up the party, especially excited that he and David would be sleeping a few doors down from each other, at least for a couple of nights. Full Story