I have forgotten what warm is. Warm is a distant memory of another time, when the sky wasn’t grey and ice didn’t cover everything and I could feel all of my fingers and toes. But warm is gone and it is the cold time now. It will just get colder and colder until society breaks down and we’re forced to live in a frozen nightmare hellscape. And when we have formed into roving bands of ice mercenaries, we shall welcome as our snowy overlord the queen of freeze herself, Nicole Kidman. It has been ordained, that one day she shall ascend to rule over us, a frozen fist in a frigid glove. All this time we thought she was jacking her face to look younger, but no. I see now that she was building up a resistance to the cold by injecting ice into her veins and becoming a human/snow hybrid.
I’m so cold it’s driving me f*cking crazy.
The last time I wrote about Nicole Kidman it was when her Grace Kelly biopic, Grace of Monaco, got pushed out of the 2013 award season in favor of a spring 2014 release. Then, late yesterday, The Hollywood Reporter announced that Grace of Monaco was moving yet again, yanked from its March 14 release date less than two months before it was set to open. Their sources said it was because the final cut hadn’t been delivered by director Olivier Dahan and, so close to the release, The Weinstein Company wouldn’t have time to properly market it. When the film was first moved last fall, Dahan came out against Weinstein, objecting to alleged cuts Weinstein wanted made to the film (which is a thing that happens on the regular with Harvey Scissorhands). The initial report from THR sounded like an extension of the fight between Dahan and Weinstein.
But then this morning it was announced that Grace of Monaco will open the Cannes Film Festival in May. So Weinstein pulled it from the schedule not to screw around with Dahan and/or because they’re fighting over the final cut, but because he got his one-time award bait movie back into award-bait contention by launching it at Cannes. Because nothing says “nothing to see here” like a big splashy premiere on the Croisette.