Sasha Answers: A Catholic-Muslim child and wedding
Dear Sasha, My fiancé and I are in our 20s and we’ve been together for almost 3 years. We’re from different religious backgrounds. I’m a practicing Catholic and he’s a Muslim, but not very serious about it. His parents are very pious though. We’re both very close to our families and were raised with traditional values.
I’m about two months pregnant, and we haven’t told anyone. We want to get married before I start showing. My family is very supportive of us, and his family kind of likes me, but the fact that I’m not a Muslim is a big red flag for them, so when we announced our engagement, his dad didn’t give us his blessing (something that was very important to my fiancé) and said he’s not coming to the wedding.
We were initially planning on waiting for his dad to come around, but he still hasn’t changed his mind, and now with the baby coming, we’ve both decided to just go ahead and get married.
My problem is, even though he’s trying to pretend like he’s ok, I know that my fiancé's seriously hurt that his dad won’t be attending our wedding, and I really don't want him to look back and regret his decision. So now I don’t know if we should postpone the ceremony, and tell everyone that we’re having a baby (which will come with its own drama –baby out of wedlock that we’re planning to raise as a Catholic-) or just go ahead with the wedding...
The decision is entirely up to you but since you’re asking for my opinion…. I’d postpone the wedding.
You’ve got a lot on your plate right now and I really think the last thing you need during pregnancy is, well, planning a f-cking wedding AND dealing with a whole side of the family who will spoil it at every turn.
It’s unfortunate that your fiancée’s father is so set in his ways that he can’t see the happiness between the two of you. And, I’m not suggesting that you kowtow to him, but for your own sake and sanity, maybe just don’t do everything imaginable at once.
You’re young, you still have plenty of time and there’s no bigger relationship commitment than having child so why not just concentrate on the next 7 months and plan your wedding after that? Plus, I'm hoping that once the baby comes it will melt everyone’s heart and you’ll all live happily ever after.
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