Sasha Answers: My BFF’s dad hit on me
Dear Sasha, My best friend broke up with me because her dad tried to make a move on me.
It all started about six months ago, when her dad started texting me. The content was relatively innocent, albeit a bit out of the blue, but the ending felt kind of off. The only times he ever called me before was about his daughter, but then he started texting me things like “hello, how are you doing today? Sweet kisses” or “I am off to bed now, I wish you a good night. I’ll be dreaming of you” I answered him the first couple times, but stopped when it got too weird and uncomfortable.
After a few unanswered texts, he stopped, but then one day, my bf asked me to drop her off so I could get a dress she had borrowed back, and since her dad was home I didn’t want to go in, so I waited in my car. When she went in, her dad came out, got in my car, and started asking me how I was doing, why I’ve been ignoring his texts, then he asked if I’d like to get together for drinks sometime, and I told him I wasn’t old enough to drink (I’m turning 21 in October), then he said he knows it won’t be the first time, so I told him he was making me uncomfortable and asked him to please get out of my car cause I needed to go, and that’s when my friend came out.
I struggled over whether to tell her about her dad or not, and figured our friendship was strong enough to deal with this. So I told her, and she just went off on me, calling me a liar, and a whore, saying her dad would never even consider cheating on her mom or do something like that to their family, and said she didn’t want to see me anymore or have anything to do with me.
I tried to call her after that, but she’s just been ignoring me. I know I’m partly to blame. Had I told her since that very text he sent me, things wouldn’t have turned into this, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to apologize if she won’t even hear me out. I really miss her, and don’t know how to save our friendship…
3. This is SO not your fault.
The only person that’s to blame here is your friend’s creepy muther f-cking dad. I want to yack all over that sicko’s face. The sh-tty thing here is that he’s not only taken advantage of you, but he’s also taken advantage of your friendship and for that very reason F, I think you might have to accept the fact that you and your B.F.F might be O.F.F.
The girl has a lot to get her mind wrapped around and there’s no doubt she’s going the denial route to get through it. I mean, I almost can’t blame her – I don’t know how I would make sense of this situation either. So with that said, I think you’ll unfortunately have to give this friendship a breather and hope that one day she’ll want to see the truth. I’m sorry, I wish I had a better remedy, but time is going to be the only answer right now. It sucks, I know.
Moving forward though I want to make sure you save all the text messages between you and her father. Also, I want you to promise me that if he ever reaches out to you again that you’ll not only NOT indulge him, but you’ll go straight to your parents. Look, I know you probably don’t think that it’s big deal, but it’s super f-cking sketch in my opinion and I would hate to see this escalate into something worse. Ya dig?
Keep me posted and thanks for writing in! xx