His Pants!

December 4, 2008 13:00:49 Posted at December 4, 2008 13:00:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

There is nothing wrong with your eyes. That is indeed the GMD. And his pants… his pants are hanging ever so slightly better. Slightly. An infinitesimal amount. But an infinitesimal improvement nonetheless.

How did this happen?

Well, he looks like he’s lost weight. Probably working out super hard to promote Valkyrie. Those bulging biceps! That flat stomach!

Oh but then there’s the face.

Tom Cruise is aging. It’s a queen’s greatest fear.

This of course is why he keeps trying to recapture the past. Valkyrie, however futile, is an exercise in youth reclamation. A decent film with some very good performances (Bill Nighy) but ruined by the miscasting of one Gay Midget Dwarf who turns a serious movie into an absolute farce.

And this of course is why he’s so seriously hustling. Like HUSTLING. Hustling all the way up here in Canada next week.

That’s right, Tom Cruise will be in Toronto for a media blitz…

Live interviews with MTV Canada and MuchMusic on Monday. Then Live @ eTalk on Tuesday. And also an appearance with George Stroumboulopoulos on The Hour.

Once upon a time, Tom Cruise would NEVER have had to work this hard.

Brad Pitt will never have to work this hard. Brad Pitt sits in New Orleans and expects Larry King and Ellen to interview him via satellite.

It is a new world for Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise is hard up.

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com

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