Worst Oscar Bow: Reese Witherspoon

February 25, 2013 13:17:43 Posted at February 25, 2013 13:17:43
Duana Posted by Duana
Photos:
Frazer Harrison/ Jason Merritt/ Kevin Winter/ Getty

At first when I saw this dress on Reese, I was more than willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. In fact, my notes say “This is more interesting than I expected it to be”. That’s because, when I first saw it on the carpet, there was a black bodice with a teal skirt wrapped around it.   It looked maybe interesting and different.

Then, she turned around, and while I will get to the squished boobs and that awful forsaken bow, I just want to point something else out first – I had to find out on Getty that the dress was royal blue. More than one TV read it as several tones off from where it actually was. People, I would like to personally start a business called True Colour Lenses, where you can bring your dress to a simulated red carpet atmosphere so you can see what colour it’s going to read as on camera. I’ll charge $60 a pop, you can feel good that you paid your stylist exorbitant amounts of money and that you got what you paid for.

For the rest of it though, I can’t help Reese. Can’t help the squishy boobs that made Lainey rage, nor the little bow at the top of the dress, as though it wouldn’t be finished without a small indication of feminine doneness.

She was also apparently quite irritating while presenting, and I don’t know what happened to me that I didn’t notice her at all.*  She made zero impact on me while presenting. So that’s…bad?  Or good, if you thought the dress/chest was so bad as to make her a spectacle.    However, upon closer investigation, her hair and makeup are nothing short of stunning tonight.   She’s never going to age, is she?

*(Lainey: “Thank you so much” made me CRAZY. And it was followed up by one of Annie’s multiple displays of preciousness, God help us.)

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