Assy Style Articles

Articles and photos related to Fashion faux pas, bad style, and other fashion no-nos.

Poetry & Roses

April 23, 2014 15:42:00 Posted at April 23, 2014 15:42:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet, NIGNY/ Blayze/ Splash

As you know, it was Amber Heard’s birthday yesterday. So her fiancé, Johnny Depp, had a lot of roses delivered to her. Fine. Then, last night, he took her to Bauman Rare Books. They picked out some poetry. After that, they probably went back to the hotel to watch black and white movies. Full Story

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The hat-matching Depps

April 22, 2014 12:54:12 Posted at April 22, 2014 12:54:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet, Splash

There’s a way to style-coordinate with your partner. We’ll see an example of that in a minute. And there’s a way to not style-coordinate with your partner. We’re seeing an example of that courtesy Johnny Depp and his fiancée. I’ll wait here until you can stop rolling your eyes. Full Story

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A tank top for no one

April 14, 2014 20:16:01 Posted at April 14, 2014 20:16:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Sharpshooter Images/ Splash

Jamie Chung and Bryan Greenberg are engaged. And I’m really into that, even though only maybe two of you care. Here they are at Coachella this weekend. Now…ordinarily…Greenberg is hot. Please see Prime for reference or How To Make It In America. But right now, we have a problem. Full Story

Zac Efron & Johnny Depp: MTV’s Most Embarrassing

April 14, 2014 16:06:45 Posted at April 14, 2014 16:06:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Frederick M. Brown/ Christopher Polk/ Getty

I did not feel the urge to stick my hand down my pants and start rubbing at the sight of Zac Efron shirtless last night on stage at the MTV Awards. Especially not when he started flexing and saluting. He saluted a couple of times. It was bad. It was really, really bad. At that moment I texted Sasha: I am so embarrassed for him right now. Full Story

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Well here’s a trio

April 11, 2014 17:52:34 Posted at April 11, 2014 17:52:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Mike Coppola/ Getty

Tiffany’s annual Blue Book gala happened last night in New York. Let’s go back to 2013 for a minute and look at the celebrity guest list. How about a photo? Click here Full Story

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Big G didn’t go to sea

April 11, 2014 13:50:37 Posted at April 11, 2014 13:50:37
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Pool/ Getty

Big George Cambridge did not go out to sea with his parents yesterday in Auckland as they raced each other on the water. Princess Catherine’s team won. She teased her husband about it good-naturedly and the two had a pretty cute moment afterwards, teasing each other. And he reached out to hold her hand, showing how close they are, how much they enjoy each other, how comfortable they are with each other, how their bodies fit so well together, alone, at night, when the baby is asleep… Stop. Full Story

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The Art of Douchebag Dressing

April 10, 2014 14:48:10 Posted at April 10, 2014 14:48:10
Maria Posted by Maria
Photos:
WENN

This week, Lainey wrote about celebrities being paid to dress like assholes (click here for a refresher), otherwise known as Coachella. It’s a mess – flower crowns, fringe boots (because why wouldn’t you wear suede boots in the desert?), floppy velvet hats - and I guess getting high and riding the Ferris wheel calls for a certain esthetic. Full Story

I’d rather look at her than listen to him

April 9, 2014 18:37:22 Posted at April 9, 2014 18:37:22
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
INF

Amber Heard was photographed yesterday on the East Hampton set of When I Live My Life Over Again. Synopsis of film: Jude's life in New York City is going nowhere. Her career is a joke, her love life is in shambles, and she is having an affair with a married man who also happens to be her analyst. Full Story

Only the most loyal

April 8, 2014 15:19:20 Posted at April 8, 2014 15:19:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

I envy the Fan. S/he is not fickle. S/he has selective sight. S/he is devoted to the very end. S/he remains undeterred. For the Johnny Depp fan, these photos are no problem. S/he doesn’t notice that NO ONE should be attracted to a man in this outfit. NO ONE would be turned on by those pants. Full Story

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Yesterday didn’t last

April 1, 2014 17:31:49 Posted at April 1, 2014 17:31:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

I called it a mirage – yesterday’s Johnny Depp post from a presser in Beijing which isn’t something he does very often anymore. Today’s premiere… I can’t. I can’t with how high his pants are hitched up. The stitching around the waistband. The Billy Ray Cyrus neck embellishment. Full Story

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Emma’s red carpet wedding

March 31, 2014 20:08:01 Posted at March 31, 2014 20:08:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Jeff Moore/ Splash

Noah did solid business at the box office this weekend opening at $44 million which means… it’s not a flop. Considering that the film has made almost $100 million overseas already, I’d say the studio is now much more relieved. Or maybe the bad press that surrounded the movie actually helped in the end? People were curious about the controversy. Full Story

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Johnny Depp’s engagement tour

March 24, 2014 16:18:41 Posted at March 24, 2014 16:18:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame, KCS Presse/ Splash

You remember when Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were engaged and it happened to be when he was promoting some movie and it became like their engagement tour? Why am I getting the same vibe from Johnny Depp? Is Johnny Depp as cheesy as Tom Cruise? Depp and his fiancée were in New York the other day. Full Story

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Courteney & Johnny’s first carpet

March 18, 2014 15:23:25 Posted at March 18, 2014 15:23:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Angela Weiss/ Getty

Courteney Cox walked the carpet at the Tribeca Film Festival in LA yesterday with boyfriend Johnny McDaid. The two have made no attempt to hide their relationship since they started dating but this is the first official event they’ve attended together. Photo Assumption says both seem relaxed. Full Story

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