You are not Bruce Willis

January 22, 2013 21:19:02 Posted at January 22, 2013 21:19:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WeirPhotos/Splash

But he’s trying...

Gerard Butler made another movie.

I know!

I mean I don’t!

I don’t know why they keep hiring him either!

This time, as many people have already pointed it, it’s Die Hard except without Bruce Willis, and Gerry Spittles is alone with the bad guys in the White House trying to rescue the President who might be mad at him for not saving his wife, Ashley Judd. Or maybe he’s mad at himself. Like Clint Eastwood in In The Line Of Fire, or something.

That’s already more plot than you ever needed to know.

All you need to know is the first 15 seconds of this trailer. From the minute Gerry opens his mouth, “Five minutes, sir”, you will understand that this is pure comedy. Oh My God, I had to pause, reverse, and watch that sh-t again.

Is he talking like that because he’s working an American accent?

How did anyone not laugh during ALL HIS SCENES?

How did the crew not laugh during all his scenes?

Those people, the Aaron Eckharts and the Morgan Freemans (who, at this point, is hustling like he’s Nicolas Cage), at least these people are trained actors. The crew? That must have been hard to not lose it while this goddamn buffoon is masticating all his words.

Olympus Has Fallen opens in March. Which means they’ll be trying to get Gerry a presenter spot at the Oscars, oh la.

Attached - Gerry in London last month.

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