Sasha Answers: When should I tell him about my kids?

July 15, 2013 17:27:16 Posted at July 15, 2013 17:27:16
Sasha Posted by Sasha

Hi Sasha, I am 36 and recently divorced with two children.  I am dating again and have met someone that I really like...however he’s never been married and has no children.  He’s mentioned how children terrify him and responsibility would be too daunting.  My question is when do I tell him I have children?  I don’t want to scare him away.   S


Uhhhh, you haven’t told him yet?! The f-ck?!  

Come on, S I shouldn’t have to tell you that this is some high priority information that needs to be shared. I mean, sh-t, your kids aren’t some detail or footnote to your life: THEY ARE YOUR LIFE and this guy absolutely needs to know.

I can understand not telling someone in the first minutes you meet them, but you’ve obviously been dating this dude long enough to know his stance on kids, so S, what's the game plan here? Were you planning to pop them out of a cake on his birthday?

Listen, I can imagine how incredibly trying, lonely, and downright hard it is to be a single mother – that sh-t deserves an Oscar – and I understand how badly you want to find the right partner, but that’s the key word here, S: the RIGHT partner. 

You can’t convince or negotiate kids with someone who doesn't want them, and if this guy isn’t cut out to be a dad, then it’s time to cut him out. So S, what you need to do now is simple - pick the damn phone up and give him the 411.   

Thanks for writing in and keep me posted! xx

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