Dear Gossips,

Duana showed me a video a couple of years ago. It’s the only time I’ve ever related to John Mayer, regardless of whether or not it was staged. Mayer’s on the phone, trying to walk his father through a computer issue. He grows increasingly frustrated, his voice gets higher and higher, and the situation becomes more maddening...

Because, and I know you know this, parents + technology is a formula for suicide. Especially if your parents are immigrants. Especially if your mother is a Chinese Squawking Chicken.

So...my ma just learned how to text. See the attachment below. That was her first text to me yesterday. She followed this up with: HI R U WANT ORANGE?

From now on, unexpectedly, my ma will be able to drop into my life, in all caps, and cryptically critique my body or offer me produce.  Read Full Intro

Dear Gossips,

The Year Of The Dragon: 1928, 1940, 1952, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012. (If your birthday is between late January and mid-February though, check your exact birthday here to see if you fell in between the lunar phases that particular year and may be a different sign.)

If you are new to the site, every year my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, has a few suggestions to offer and protection charms to give away. This year was particularly challenging as she’s been hospitalised since April but last weekend my dad took her to the Chinese place where such things can be procured. And now there are 12 of them. More on this later.

If you are of the Dragon sign, this year will not be a particularly smooth one. That’s just how the cycle works. So it means you may not want to invest aggressively.  Read Full Intro