Leave our time alone
Like Ghostbusters III, a potential Goonies sequel has been talked about for a long time. There was actually a sequel video game released in 1987, two years after the movie came out (it was a pretty sweet Nintendo game), even though there was no movie sequel. But also like Ghostbusters III, it’s been a bad idea for a long time. I would rather see The Goonies remade than sequelized—and isn’t that a sh*t vs. diarrhea moment—because there’s no way seeing the grown-up Goonies won’t be depressing. The Goonies is about the fleeting nature of childhood, how you have to search for pirate treasure now because it’s not acceptable to do so when you’re an adult (being an adult SUCKS). Who wants to see grown up, bitter, sad Goonies trying to recapture their childhood glory? Did we learn nothing from Hook?
But 83 year old producer Richard Donner, who directed The Goonies as well as Superman and the Lethal Weapon movies—he’s basically the proto-Michael Bay—is still talking up a sequel. Chatting with TMZ photographers (which always makes me think of this), he said, “We’re doing a sequel”, and when asked if the stars would be back, including Josh Brolin, Martha Plimpton and Sean Astin, he said, “Hopefully, all of them.” You can go ahead and count Corey Feldman in.
A producer telling paparazzi in a parking lot that he’s working on a sequel to a movie that was a cult hit nearly thirty years ago is a long way from actually getting that movie made. I remain heavily skeptical of even the idea of the project. But throughout my life—most of which has been lived believing that The Goonies is one of the three greatest movies ever made, along with Raiders of the Lost Ark and This is Spinal Tap—the idea of a Goonies sequel has never quite died. It will be our time once again, whether we want it or not.