Bitch please Articles

The blow-jobbiest article ever

January 24, 2014 15:59:06 Posted at January 24, 2014 15:59:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Jason Merritt/ Getty

An article showed up on PEOPLE.com yesterday. They interviewed Amber Heard’s first agent from back in Texas. Needless to say, he happily obliged with the most dicksucky quotes ever. You ready? "Very early Amber understood beauty only opens the door of opportunity. Full Story

Aloof AND Self-possessed

August 23, 2013 13:27:35 Posted at August 23, 2013 13:27:35
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FameFlynet

There’s a new Rooney Mara profile in the NYT Times magazine. She doesn’t call herself aloof this time. No, she doesn’t. But the word does appear in a list of words the writer cites as adjectives that have been used in the past to describe her. Which is why Rooney had to come up with something new…? I promise you, I tried. Full Story

James Franco on a plane

July 24, 2013 19:01:21 Posted at July 24, 2013 19:01:21
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
wowcelebritytv/ Splash

Have you seen Spring Breakers yet? I put it on my iPad for my flight from Vancouver to Toronto the other day. Not really the best idea. Watching it on one of the plane’s personal seat viewers is one thing. But viewing it from your iPad, with much better resolution, so that the people around you can see your screen if they’re looking, is totally different. Full Story

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Why don’t you make it more obvious?

March 4, 2013 16:54:39 Posted at March 4, 2013 16:54:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Splash

Here’s what I wrote in the intro to the site last Thursday: “...curiously enough, the prom king hasn’t been seen with his kids since Sunday. Coincidence or conspiracy? Maybe he’ll emerge on the weekend out of obligation, just so it won’t seem so obvious. Full Story

Posh Benedict

August 16, 2012 15:29:56 Posted at August 16, 2012 15:29:56
Sarah Posted by Sarah
Photos:
Ben Pruchnie/Getty

I’m a celebrity realist, which means that for me, it’s not so much about pretending away a celebrity’s bad habit, but asking whether or not whatever peccadillo they’ve got is a deal breaker, or something that I’m going to be able to ignore for the sake of my crush. For instance, Tom Hiddleston’s Twitter Full Story

Anne Hathaway’s short hair

April 9, 2012 15:20:30 Posted at April 9, 2012 15:20:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Tony Clark/Splash

I wonder if they tried wigging it at all. If they camera tested a few wigs and decided in the end that the wigs just weren’t working before encouraging Annie to cut it all off. Or was it all Annie herself from the very beginning out of artistic commitment? No, let’s not even bother trying the wig. I will do it! (hand in the air) I will sacrifice my hair for Fantine. Full Story

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JLo: Glamour Woman of the Year

November 8, 2011 20:35:00 Posted at November 8, 2011 20:35:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, DON EMMERT/Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

She was there last night to receive her honour. And she’s on the current cover of the magazine being interviewed by Jane Fonda. Have you read the article yet? You may have read excerpts, but the full piece, it’s amazing. Both are 3 times divorced. Both are... really, really, REALLY into themselves. Both spend a lot of time pretending to be into each other when they’re actually just trying to bring the conversation back to “ME”, the only word in their vocabulary. Full Story

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Justin ... “Not”

July 22, 2011 08:39:01 Posted at July 22, 2011 08:39:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

That’ll make sense for you in a minute. Let me set the scene: Last night, as we do when we’re covering these festivals and conventions, we get together at the end of the night for some drinks before we hit the party. We compare stories – how was your day, who did you get, how was your interview, do you think you have enough b-roll? – and sometimes we agree and sometimes we disagree, and that’s normal because you can’t all get along with the same people and it’s a great way to exchange information and compare observations. Full Story

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Another monumental As IF

July 8, 2011 07:31:00 Posted at July 8, 2011 07:31:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Yesterday’s As IF moment came to us courtesy Victoria Beckham or, rather, David Beckham who claimed his wife Posh didn’t know that he was iPhoning her pregnantly candid. Click here for a refresher. Today’s As IF is thanks to Megan Fox who took to her Facebook page in a post titled "THINGS YOU CAN'T DO WITH YOUR FACE WHEN YOU HAVE BOTOX" to prove she’s never had Botox by posting these attached photos of herself scrunching up her forehead like that sh-t is all natural. Full Story

Justin is cerebral

July 7, 2011 10:51:20 Posted at July 7, 2011 10:51:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

But first, straight up, he and Mila Kunis look super hot here on the cover and inside of ELLE. Like really, really great together which...maybe that was Jessica Biel's problem. Or definitely. If Mila wanted a piece of that, would he be spending time in Toronto re-attaching the Cling? Anyway, this of course is in service of the upcoming Friends With Benefits so, naturally, a lot of the questions in the interview were about, duh, friends with benefits, and these two, by now, have at least a dozen funny, cute, clever "anecdotes" they can tell as prepared responses. Full Story

Jesse reads but doesn’t pose

March 10, 2011 08:06:43 Posted at March 10, 2011 08:06:43
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A lot of you developed a boner for Jesse Eisenberg this year after The Social Network and awards season and were sad and worried to see that come to an end because, Jesse being Jesse, he would recede from the public eye. Jesse makes it a point not to draw attention to himself (or use the internet or watch tv or engage in pop culture, eyeroll, eyeroll, eyeroll), Jesse is rarely papped, Jesse lives in New York and collects old maps and writes musicals. Full Story

Something I was saving…

February 17, 2011 09:36:39 Posted at February 17, 2011 09:36:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I don’t post about Michelle Trachtenberg much. Because, obviously. Or maybe not. Maxim just put her on its cover. Total bitch move but I’ll just come right out and say it – we’re talking about a supporting role tv girl here, aren’t we? Sure, I get it. This is a skin rag men’s mag, great. Full Story

Rubber suit

February 17, 2011 08:00:42 Posted at February 17, 2011 08:00:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

How else would you describe it? This is Lady Gaga at Good Morning America today arriving in typical crazy ass fashion, wearing a rubber suit, like literally a suit, with nipple tape and, by her standards, a rather ordinary hat. Yesterday, while out and about, she was almost conservative, in a denim jacket, leggings, and biker boots. Full Story

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Kate Middleton or Anna Wintour

February 15, 2011 09:02:49 Posted at February 15, 2011 09:02:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Victoria Beckham has been in New York the last few days presenting her latest collection to the people who matter. Clever bitch that she is, she also let it drop that in addition to all the other famous people who’ve worn her designs (Drew Barrymore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez), she could be adding a Princess to that list. Full Story

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