Hushpuppy and Lindsay Lohan got robbed!

December 13, 2012 17:02:20 Posted at December 13, 2012 17:02:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
FREDERIC J. BROWN /Kevin Winter /Getty Images

But first...

Can we play Photo Assumption on this shot of Megan Fox and Jessica Alba?

Fox being there, I sort of understand, because she’s in This Is 40, coming out very soon. Alba...? What was Alba’s last movie? I don’t remember Alba’s last movie. Does Alba even make movies anymore?  I think of Alba now and hemp diapers come to mind.

So look at them looking at each other. And Megan’s not wrong if she’s telling Alba she’s ahead, because at the very least, she’s in with Apatow, and in Hollywood, right now, Apatow > Robert Rodriguez.

What have you been up to lately, Jesisca? How’s the baby food business?

God, I would have loved to overhear that.

Check out Ed Helms’s face in that shot of them on either side of him, appearing to be desperate to leave. What kind of a crazy man would be desperate to leave a situation where he’s placed sandwiched between Megan Fox and Jessica Alba?

Look at the angle of Alba’s neck? Photo Assumption says there’s only one way to see that -- that’s an Oh Really, Bitch? cock of the head, FOR SURE. And if the cameras weren’t around, there would have been an exchange.

As for these nominations...

And the what the f-cking over Nicole Kidman’s two nominations -- there’s no way she would not have been called for her work in Hemingway & Gellhorn. I mean, even the HFPA wouldn’t choose Lindsay Lohan in Liz & Dick over Kidman. As for her performance in The Paperboy, at this point, Kidman’s in a class with the Streeps and Blanchetts of the world -- whatever she does, any time she makes a movie, she’s considered a contender. And that’s not just with the dicksuckers at the HFPA but also within the acting community, as evidenced by her double SAG yesterday. She is indeed that good. And it’s too bad that she doesn’t see how good she is and that her insecurities keep manifesting themselves all over her face.

Some other quick thoughts:

Tom Hooper not included in the Best Director list is....not good news for Les Miserables. Les Miserables is an underdog right now. If the box office is big though, well the game totally changes.

Django received a big boost ...at the expense of The Master...? No Best Drama nomination or Best Director nomination for a film and a director thought to be an automatic two months ago.

Lincoln is quietly, quietly, quietly building momentum. Steadily accumulating so many nominations, content to let Zero Dark Thirty be the peacock while behind the scenes, the team is lobbying aggressively but strategically, so that it comes across that Lincoln is above it all, leaving it to the others to fight over meaningless glory, content to accept whatever happens, because the reward is in the storytelling, didn’t you know?

I’m ok with Hushpuppy not making it. Her category included Chastain, Cotillard, Mirren, Watts, and Weisz. She’s 9. She doesn’t need it right now. And besides, it’s the HFPA. Would they ever, EVER invite a non-actor, regular person, and CHILD if they could invite a famous actress who’ll be wearing free Chanel?

The consequence however of not nominating Hushpuppy or Dwight Henry though is that this is a really, really, REALLY white list. Archie Panjabi and Don Cheadle are the standouts, right? And Quentin Tarantino and Leonardo DiCaprio are representing a film about black vengeance...

Oh, but that’s funny. That’s really, really funny.

I mean we could go on. And we will. In separate articles. For now though, I’ll end in television, and as much as I love Connie Britton, there is no way she should be nominated for Nashville. NO WAY. Especially not over Katey Sagal. And where Best Drama is concerned...

You can make the case for Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire, and Homeland, sure. But Downton Abbey and The Newsroom are appalling inclusions, especially over shows like Game Of Thrones and The Walking Dead. As for Mad Men - Mad Men does make my personal “was robbed” list because, well, Mad Men’s season last year didn’t deserve it. Up against Downton Abbey though? And The Newsroom? I mean if that’s what our standard is, if our standard is Downton Abbey season 2? Well then Mad Men got robbed too.

Click here for the full Golden Globe nomination list.