The Ridiculous 6 premieres because there is no god

December 1, 2015 16:17:56 Posted at December 1, 2015 16:17:56
Sarah Posted by Sarah
Photos:
JB Lacroix/ Alberto E. Rodriguez/ Gregg DeGuire/ Getty Images

Adam Sandler’s “movie”, The Ridiculous 6, premiered last night in advance of its 12/11 release on Netflix. I will be reviewing this eyeball garbage because I’m a masochist, but also because I feel you can’t really sh*t on a thing until you’ve seen it, so I’m going to have to live this hell to determine if Sandler’s string of (alleged) cinematic crimes continues. But for now we’re talking about the premiere, at which the stars of this “movie” posed for their mug shots to be used when the Happy Madison Ponzi Scheme* inevitably collapses.

Most everyone manages to put on a happy face, and Terry Crews is a legit gift to humanity and seems like a really fun dude to be around. But Julia Jones, of Twilight fame, is killing me. She has no time for this bulls*t and I can’t find a photo of her actually smiling. Jones is a gigging actress and I generally don’t blame actors for taking jobs, but it looks like this job crushed a part of Jones’s soul, something not even Twilight could do. Speaking of Twilight, Taylor Lautner is also in this “movie”. The cast stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live—Luke Wilson looks like he wants to die—and told a story about how a burro on set had a crush on Lautner. As if being in an Adam Sandler “movie” isn’t bad enough, Lautner also has to be the butt of Adam Sandler “jokes”. This is Taylor Lautner’s career now. Twilight didn’t pan out for everyone.

*I am in no way implying Adam Sandler is running an elaborate financial scam on movie studios

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