If oatmeal could talk it would sound like Seyfried
Written by Sarah
Amanda Seyfried is just like oatmeal. Harmless and wholesome, but lacking in any interest or spice. Oatmeal went on Chelsea Lately to promote her oatmeal romcom Letters to Juliet and she proceeded to turn Chelsea Handler’s usually sharp and caustic show into a big bowl of oatmeal. And she said some really dumb sh*t.
Certainly Oatmeal is pretty. And stylish, in an acceptably mainstream kind of way. But then she opens her mouth and this comes out, “I did it, and I got a check, and I thought, this could help me out.” Congratulations, Oatmeal, you’ve just made it sound like you’re making porn. Your publicist will be thrilled. I don’t think she means for the things she says to sound this way, but I inevitably find myself thinking, “She didn’t actually just say…” It casts a whole new light on her asstalk about how she’s “paid her dues” already. Oatmeal isn’t entitled. She’s just dumb. She opens her mouth and words come out, and the way she says them and the way we take them are completely unrelated. She doesn’t mean any harm. She doesn’t mean anything. It’s just words.
But then there’s the tattoo. The dumbest part of the Chelsea interview by far. I have tattoos. I am not judging Oatmeal for getting inked. I am judging her on what she got inked. She tattooed the word “minge” on her foot. It’s British slang for lady bits. For the rest of her life, Amanda Seyfried will have a vulgar term for vagina tattooed on her foot. On someone else, someone with some attitude, like Evan Rachel Wood, it could be kind of badass. But on Amanda Seyfreid? It’s like adding raisins to your oatmeal. You’ve tarted it up a bit, but it’s still oatmeal.