The beatification of Angelina Jolie

April 30, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at April 30, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Time Magazine has named Angelina Jolie on their list of "100 People Who Shape Our World", the latest development in what seems to be a rather obvious campaign to turn her into a living saint, made all the more compelling because she used to sleep with women and kiss her brother and wear Billy Bob"s blood around her neck. Who doesn"t love an extreme makeover??? Angelina week then continued with the overly hyped Dateline interview tonight and as I watched the pitifully short 10 minute let down, trying not to be irritated by Ann Curry"s laughably fluffy yet ridiculously dramatic questioning, I realised that I could not, no matter how hard I tried, take my eyes off those infamous lips. They are completely mesmerising! So much so that I actually watched it over again, just to get some more! Now I"m well aware that this is not exactly a groundbreaking, original thought. But still. The woman"s mouth has such amazingly hypnotic effect, it really should be considered an Xmen superpower, similar to Storm"s ability to control the weather and Nightcrawler"s penchant for teleportation (my personal favourite). In fact, if her lips told me to "make babies with Kevin Federline", I totally think I would do it. And as we all know from Spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility. Thank Goddess she"s using it wisely. Oh - and one more thing since I"m in full on Angelinafication mode this weekend. Have you tried Lip Fusion? Just splurged on the XL this week. I"m telling you, it"s collagen in a bottle and I have bee stung lips without having to get on my knees like Paris Hilton. Not a bad thing for someone who has bottom lip issues. Mine always looks like it"s eating itself. But I digress. Finally…what of the CAA firing? As announced last week, Angie fired her agents at CAA even though the firm still represents Brad Pitt. Although no reasons were provided and no outlets have been able to confirm why, there is no reason to believe things were less than amicable - at press time. Sources I"ve spoken to speculate that commission is the reason behind the split, but not out of standard Hollywood greed. Here"s a breakdown of the situation as broken down to me. With two children and one on the way, Angelina"s professional slate isn"t exactly overflowing. While she"s expressed some interest in a couple of projects down the road, word is she has yet to make up her mind about what she wants to commit to and how often she wants to work. Brad on the other hand has several major vehicles in production including Oceans, a personal stake in Jesse James, and a few films he"s interested in producing. In other words, he needs representation and spending the standard percentage on commission is probably worth his while. But according to my insiders, Angie, is apparently more interested in directing her share of agency pay towards her philanthropic pursuits, and when you consider what her going rate per picture is, you can appreciate what an impact that could possibly make. True? I"m not sure. Just tellin" it like I hear it. But hey - this is a woman who inspired Brad Pitt to start reading. So I guess with her, anything IS possible, non? Photos from JustJared
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