Have you seen the Joy Luck Club? Remember the narrow, cold house that matched the narrow, cold marriage? Well take a look at Brad"s design marvel as seen in the pages of Elle Decoration. Visually impressive, to be sure. But a superstitious old Chinese woman would take one look at this thing and start burning incense and muttering chants under her breath. Arty is one thing, inviting disaster is another. And while it"s unlikely that it still looks like this with bratty Madd running around, I"d also expect a "Buddhist" like Angelina Jolie to see the spiritual hollowness of this place and start tossing some warmth and maybe even a few throw pillows around for protection.
Now for the benefit of those hysterical "Brangelina" fans out there who can get pretty foamy-mouthed if anything untoward is directed at the subjects of their idolatry - may I say again that I think Brad has great vision and artistry and that his home is nice to look at and he is very good looking and Angelina is very good looking too and so are the children and may the heavens bless them and their seed with ten thousand years of "fu"
and luck as full as the East China Sea and health as green as the Southern Mountains - which is how Manchu concubines used to greet the Emperor back in the day, according to Anchee Min in her account of Empress Orchid, and it"s such a fitting tribute to the reiging Son and Daughter of Heaven and Hollywood, don"t you think?
Feel better now, Brangelinians? There, there…put away that nasty venomous email, ok? I"m not saying calamity will befall your favourite family. I"m just trying to keep a Chinese eye out for them, make sure they last forever and ever, you know? Because I do love Brad and Angie, I do worship them above all others. But maybe just not as feverishly as you.
Images from JustJared