“Minimally talented spoiled brat” covers PEOPLE

December 10, 2014 16:41:44 Posted at December 10, 2014 16:41:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh but the timing of this…

She timed it, obviously, with the upcoming release of Unbroken. This is PEOPLE’s year in review Best of 2014 issue. They’re hoping it’s big numbers in circulation. Perhaps the last issue of the magazine that people will pick up before the holiday break. But then, well, those hackers.

And now we all know that she’s manipulative and spoiled.

Wait.

Didn’t we already know what?

We did. Because we live on the internet. What always surprises me though is that there are a lot of people who DON’T live on the internet. Even some people who read this blog. They don’t know that Blake Lively – or any celebrity – calls the paps. They don’t know that Ashton Kutcher is a f-cking idiot. They STILL DON’T KNOW about John Travolta.

So for the people who think that Angelina tucks her angel wings away at night, what will they end up consuming? This PEOPLE article about her most beautiful moments of the year (Maddox became a teenager)? Or the leaked emails (which require more reading over picture-viewing)? 

For Jolie, the strategy right now is to get the naïve, the PEOPLE subscriber, to read this magazine so that they might be interested in seeing the movie. The movie needs to make money. The movie needs to win the public. If she can legitimately say that she directed a movie that performs well at the box office, she’ll have more ammunition behind the scenes to go about her scheming. And the people in contact with her, behind the scenes, already know about the scheming anyway. Scott Rudin can’t be the only Hollywood player who’s familiar with her games. They’re all probably familiar with her games. She has an upper hand on these games though when she can back up her moves with the box office. Like… Maleficent.

After Malificent she looked untouchable. And you’ll note, the emails going back and forth between Amy Pascal and Scott Rudin happened BEFORE the release of Maleficent. After Maleficent, Rudin’s not sh-t talking Jolie anymore. You’ll note too that for all his threats to tell Jolie to her face that he didn’t want to make Cleopatra, he was trying to get Pascal to do that FOR him, to call her, to tell her. Because up to that point Jolie hadn’t given up on the Cleopatra project. And I’ve not seen anything to indicate now that she has, although now, given this mess, it remains to be seen how she navigates the Rudin relationship. For that we go back to how Unbroken opens.

Will being a “minimally talented spoiled brat” hurt the Jolie in the eyes of the MiniVan Majority? What is the MiniVan Majority’s greatest aversion? After child molester, the MiniVan Majority’s all-time most hated nemesis is…

A homewrecker.

She got over that one by having lots of babies.

Being called a “minimally talented spoiled brat”? Pffft. A new family portrait at Christmas will probably do.

Click here to read the PEOPLE feature on Angelina Jolie.
 

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