Honour of a Lifetime

May 8, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at May 8, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

When celebrities arrive, hundreds of photographers and reporters start shouting their names. “Anna! Anna! Over here!” My producer Lara was standing on a riser wrangling interviews. We were beside ourselves over Anna Wintour and her daughter Bee Shaffer. Anna has the body of a 12 year old – she is exquisite. And Bee too, but for the fact that she wore a prom dress. Most shocking however is that Bee actually has a normal sized body. Like normal. Like a nice ass, no trace of bone, and arms that won’t snap if you shake her hand too enthusiastically. Can you believe a child of Anna Wintour actually eats?

Still…despite the impressive nourishment, Bee isn’t immune to fashionista pretension. Watching her get into position was a moment I will treasure forever…and I wish I could describe it with justice, I wish I had video capability for a moving imitation. Because the only thing I can call it is a Stutter Step. She heard her name, she dropped one leg back with a coordinated flick of her chin and open-mouthed stare, like half a dance move without the music – Lara and I happened to be looking over at the same time and squealed in unison with delight. You just can’t buy that kind of cheese, you know?

But the best… the best was when Lara committed the unthinkable, shouting OVER everyone else for the privilege of a rare interview with the legendary bitch of Vogue herself. It was as though it happened in slow motion: Anna Wintour turned on her heel, her eyes found Lara’s, and for what felt like an eternity, our entire section went silent. A chill ran up my spine and found its way to my brain – all of a sudden we were 5 years old again, she froze us out with the patented stare…not quite a glare because a glare would imply she actually wasted energy being angry, but pity almost. Pity tinged with a little bit of admonishment: Do you actually think I’d stop and talk to YOU?

The true Devil is Anna Wintour.

We were belittled by Anna Wintour – it was the honour of a lifetime.

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