Ashlee Simpson Gossip
Stay pregnant!
Saleem Elatab/Splash, Jamie McCarthy/Getty
I don’t think I’ve received a single email disagreeing about my position on Porny’s pregnancy style: that it’s remarkably superior to her non-pregnancy style, as in it’s GOOD style. Crazy talk, right? But look at her, stringing together win after win this week in New York in her maternity clothes. Finally finding the proportion in her choices in length and fit and tightness and/or looseness. Full Story
Mega Preg
Spash News, Bauer-Griffin
There was a story last week about how Porny’s dad is still negotiating with a magazine for a half million dollar deal to officially confirm her pregnancy which is why she hasn’t said anything about it yet. Two challenges here:Jessica is apparently quite far along. Jessica is too dumb to hide it. How else can you explain why she’s tottering around JFK in a tight black shirt barely concealing her own baby AND Beyonce’s goose feather pillow? BumpWatch is the worst with reliability, yes, but then there’s just the obvious. Full Story
Ashlee Simpson & Lucky Luciano
I could have sworn that just a month ago Ashlee Simpson and estranged husband Pete Wentz were still behaving... un-estrangedly. Well I guess that passed. Ashlee was photographed walking hand in hand with her new boyfriend in NYC the other day. They were well aware they were being papped. She made no attempt to hide. Full Story
Permanent or temporary?
I suppose when it comes to marriage these days, you can never really say. I’m the only person I know whose parents divorced and then got back together – like 10 years later. When I tell this to other people with divorced parents, it’s hard to fathom. Because by then, you can’t imagine your parents any other way but apart anymore. Full Story
Ashlee Simpson files for divorce
She’s 26. They’ve been married almost 3 years. Her sister Jessica was also married about the same amount of time to Nick Lachey. She split from him at 25. Young marriages, you know? Ashlee and Pete Wentz however have a child. They were photographed just a month ago, seemingly fine, with Bronx in LA. Full Story
Porny’s change pouch
Picture a waitress at a restaurant. And you ask for the check. And she reaches into her change apron and pulls it out. And you hand her your bills, and she digs around in there again and gives you some coins, and a fiver. Isn’t this was what my Porny was wearing around her waist last night at the LG event hosted by Victoria Beckham and Eva Longoria? Yes. Full Story
Disco Porny can’t multitask
You know I have a soft spot for Jessica Simpson. She makes mistakes, she says stupid sh-t, she will always choose cheap over classy, but it also seems wrong to hate on someone so dumb. There are good intentions underneath those breasts. It just takes a lot of patience to get through the dead air to find them. Full Story
Porny prose
This full moon is beaming through my window with grace. I am falling asleep encountering this intense moonlit dream. Thank God it found me. The search for the perfect sentence stops here. And what an abundance of generosity. For Jessica Simpson has gifted us with not one, but two offerings. Via Twitter Full Story
What will Ashlee do?
EW is reporting that Ashlee Simpson and some other dude have been axed from the new Melrose Place. The official word is that this was the intention all along. I don’t watch the show, but many of you who do have been quite expressive about how she’s the worst part of it. Full Story
Ashlee > Posh
Oh Anna Wintour. She keeps throwing her acid at Victoria Beckham’s face. It’s amazing. This is Posh arriving in London today in a pair of pants from her own line, with black patches on the inside thigh to further accentuate the thinness. The airport is her personal runway. They say the Spice Girls are working on a stage musical. Full Story
Porny panties
Sigh. What will we do with her? She’s just… It’s like trying to mold concrete. Jessica Simpson was out on 2 occasions this weekend – first at a gala in support of Operation Smile and then in Vegas with sister Ashlee to celebrate Pete Wentz’s birthday. She attended the charity benefit with her main gay Ken Paves and her parents. Full Story
Re-thinnification of Ashlee Simpson
She’s promoting Melrose Place. Is in New York making the talk show rounds. Photos are attached. Ashlee, as you know, had a baby last year with Pete Wentz. Since landing her new acting gig, she’s been dropping weight steadily. You’ll recall, she did so before allegedly under doctor supervision. Full Story
Shut your cockmouth and wear a bra
An extraordinary amount of patience is required to be friends with Jessica Simpson. I am not a patient person. But I am a good friend. And she needs me, so I’m working on it. Porny is frustrating though because progress is always mixed with f-ckery. Before celebrating improvement, you must wait for the other shoe to drop. Full Story
Papa Perv is out of his mind
Out of his F-CKING mind. Page Six reports that Joe Simpson is apparently trying to capitalise on the death of Michael Jackson by “pitching a concept album” of MJ songs performed by Ashlee Simpson. Full Story