One of the arguments against the fact that Beyonce was really carrying the Throne Child was that she was wearing heels during her pregnancy all the time. Many a sanctimonious mother insisted that “when I was pregnant, there was NO WAY I could get my feet into heels”. Victoria Beckham did it. Blue Ivy’s mother did it. Full Story

Jessica Simpson has said she’s having a spring baby. Beyonce’s supposedly due like right now. This is why, though I’ve never given birth, I believe it when they say that every pregnancy is different. And that’s also why I don’t understand why some women still persist with the “well, when I was pregnant, this and this happened so that must mean that this and this happens to EVERYONE”. Full Story

I don’t think I’ve received a single email disagreeing about my position on Porny’s pregnancy style: that it’s remarkably superior to her non-pregnancy style, as in it’s GOOD style. Crazy talk, right? But look at her, stringing together win after win this week in New York in her maternity clothes. Finally finding the proportion in her choices in length and fit and tightness and/or looseness. Full Story

She wears her clothes so much better when she’s pregnant, non? Look at my Porny last night in New York with her freeloader. Doesn’t she look lovely? Isn’t that a good fit? Why can’t she do this when there’s no baby inside of her? But God her breasts must be heavy. They’re the same size as her belly. And I cannot deal with this dude and his legs and pants issue. Full Story

This is Jessica Simpson with her freeloader yesterday celebrating her nephew’s 3rd birthday. As you well know Porny is now pregnant with her own. Us Weekly reports that she will be signing with Weight Watchers after she gives birth to lose all her baby gain. Full Story

Jessica Simpson officially officially announced on her website yesterday that she and that freeloader are expecting. Apparently she’d been planning it for a while. Even put together a special “mummy” Halloween/White Snake video photo shoot. Full Story

Jessica Simpson used to date Tony Romo, the sh-tty quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Romo is now married to Candice Crawford. He and Crawford were engaged within a month of Porny’s engagement to that loser with no job who lives in her house. Porny, quite obviously, is pregnant. And Romo just announced Full Story

There was a story last week about how Porny’s dad is still negotiating with a magazine for a half million dollar deal to officially confirm her pregnancy which is why she hasn’t said anything about it yet. Two challenges here:Jessica is apparently quite far along. Jessica is too dumb to hide it. How else can you explain why she’s tottering around JFK in a tight black shirt barely concealing her own baby AND Beyonce’s goose feather pillow? BumpWatch is the worst with reliability, yes, but then there’s just the obvious. Full Story

I have no idea. But In Touch Eye-Roll Weekly is claiming to have the exclusive. They’ve supposedly “confirmed” that Jessica Simpson is pregnant with that freeloader’s baby. Porny’s “kooky” cravings include “nacho chips dipped in chocolate and cheese-flavored popcorn and non-alcoholic margaritas”. Full Story

Jessica Simpson tweeted this yesterday: There are rumors that I was "drunk swaying" at the Adele concert last night. That wasn't drunk swaying, that was professional dancing! It’s funny, right? It’s actually not a bad joke. Full Story

Every time someone breaks Adele’s heart she is a mess. Then she writes great songs. And she’s still a mess. But through writing and performing she recovers. Only to repeat the process all over again. But at least there’s some growth out of it. And a gift to music. Every time someone breaks Jessica Simpson’s heart she is a mess. Full Story

It was Porny’s birthday yesterday. She’s 31 now. And she tweeted this photo – a gift from her KFed. He bought her a new bag. What looks like a Birkin. A very large, very orange one. With this caption: Eric made my birthday!!! I have never been more surprised in my life! Jackie O who? ;) See what Victoria Beckham has done to Birkins? Now anyone can buy a f-cking Birkin. Full Story

As you know, I have been praying for a friend for Jessica Simpson for a long time. Jessica's friends don't tell her like it is. That she has dumbass for taste. That she dresses like two wrestling sausages in cling wrap. That she gives herself too easily. That she loves douchebags and golddiggers. Full Story

I don’t think you would argue with me if I said Salma Hayek has big breasts. And the same goes for Jessica Simpson. They’re also both short. But that’s pretty much it re: similarities. Here’s Salma in Venice to attend an art museum opening proving – courageously, I might add – that you don’t have to be tall and lanky to work the high waisted option. Full Story