As IF Articles

Unbelievable or outrageous celebrity statements, decisions other moves.

The Jessica that Jessica wants to be

August 2, 2012 16:31:02 Posted at August 2, 2012 16:31:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Frazer Harrison/Kevin Winter/Getty

Here’s Jessica Biel last night at the premiere of Total Recall. It’s what I call aspirational dressing. And, curiously, her sartorial approach mirrors her professional one. The Jessica that Jessica wants to be and the Jessica that Jessica actually is, they are not the same. What you see here, this dress and the shoes and the accessories, while certainly a beautiful idea, it’s not the right idea for Jessica Biel. Full Story

View All 26 Photos

Slum Love on National Television

July 17, 2012 18:07:12 Posted at July 17, 2012 18:07:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
INF

You want to make yourself feel good after your divorce and f-ck around with a 25 year old little dancer, fine. Me I would have picked someone slighter taller, more attractive, to serve that purpose but your eyes are clearly bugged so...fine, fine on that point too. But don’t give him a career. Full Story

The As IF of the summer

July 16, 2012 17:10:12 Posted at July 16, 2012 17:10:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Fame/Flynet

Need some comic relief this Monday morning? You can thank Ashley Greene for it. This item appeared in the NY Post yesterday. I’ve decided to include the entire article for maximum amusement: Greene is really about to be the color of money. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

Beyonce at work...tonight

May 25, 2012 19:57:58 Posted at May 25, 2012 19:57:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Beyonce kicks off the first of four performances in Atlantic City tonight. I SO want to be there. Have you seen Beyonce perform live? I’ll say this: if you’re not interested in the experience, you can’t call yourself a student of pop culture. There are only a few entertainers of this calibre that come along in a generation. Full Story

View All 13 Photos

Diddykins thinks he’s Brad Pitt

May 23, 2012 13:44:00 Posted at May 23, 2012 13:44:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

I have not bothered to learn the reason P Diddy is here in Cannes. All I know is that he thinks he’s still the sh-t. As evidenced by his behaviour last night on the carpet at the Killing Them Softly premiere. The festival assigns staff to manage the arrivals. Those who are expected to pose for photographers are gathered at the base of runway, facing the steps, to wait for instruction on when to proceed. Full Story

View All 22 Photos

Scarlett Johansson: cooks, thinks, sings, does it all

April 12, 2012 20:15:13 Posted at April 12, 2012 20:15:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
WENN

This seems to be the thesis of the Vogue profile on Scarlett Johansson. She covers the new issue. More on the article in a minute. First the photos:It’s Mario Testino so, you know, meh. HOWEVER...Her shots with Mark Ruffalo are beautiful. Particularly that smirk on her face. You see that smirk? That’s the Scarjo you know. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Vogue slums with JLo

March 16, 2012 17:02:05 Posted at March 16, 2012 17:02:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
SPW / Splash News

She’s on the cover of the April issue looking really good, but I also wonder why they chose to go with studio shots as opposed to a more interesting visual. Where Jennifer Lopez is concerned, there’s always a story behind the shot.The entire article has been posted on the Vogue website; it’s a total dick suck. Full Story

Aloof & Sister at the Oscars

February 27, 2012 14:44:46 Posted at February 27, 2012 14:44:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Michael Buckner/JOE KLAMAR/Ethan Miller/Getty

Let me start with the dress...which I quite liked. It’s Givenchy. The back is awesome. And so well suited to her aesthetic. I just think she couldn’t hold it up, you know? Like carry it properly. Her body has a small part to do with that, sure, but mostly it’s the oh-please-I’d-rather-be-developing-a-character-with-David-Fincher body language that she’s wearing with it that undermines the creation. Full Story

View All 24 Photos

Fontrum by Kate Bosworth

February 17, 2012 20:15:54 Posted at February 17, 2012 20:15:54
Lainey Posted by Lainey

I learned this week that Kate Bosworth has a Twitter. Thanks WA! Or maybe that’s no thanks. Because when I went to see what she tweets about, it grossed me out.Kate’s boyfriend Michael Polish is on Twitter too. And he posted this photo below with the caption: JUST LIKE HEAVEN. Full Story

The Power of Clinging

November 23, 2011 21:08:29 Posted at November 23, 2011 21:08:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Photos:
Wenn, Bauer

Hilarious article was posted on Us Weekly’s website today. Title: Jessica Biel has the power in Justin Timberlake relationshipAccording to a source - obviously deserving of an eyeroll - Jessica has “the power” because she took him back AFTER HE CHEATED ON HER. Full Story

View All 13 Photos

30 pounds of As IF

November 9, 2011 14:38:13 Posted at November 9, 2011 14:38:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Mimi is the new spokesperson for Jenny Craig! And there’s been an unveiling!As you can imagine, I have watched the unveiling, like, at least a dozen times. I’ve also, for your viewing pleasure, screen capped many of the best parts. Of her body. That are obscured and shadowed and angled and, um, maybe even retouched, all amounting to what she claims is a 30 pound weight loss since she started the Jenny program on July 22 which has resulted in her now sitting at a very petite size 4 or 6. Full Story

View All 9 Photos