Size 2 is everywhere

January 28, 2009 13:15:34 Posted at January 28, 2009 13:15:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This Porny Simpson business…

As you know, these photos have made headlines everywhere. Like if the Brange hadn’t come along to show off the family in Tokyo, Porny’s pictures would have been the top story all week long. But no one beats the Brange.

For the record, in the original article here posted on Monday, I wrote very clearly that “Jessica Simpson has a lovely body. It’s delicious. But she can’t dress for her body.” To me, it’s about the assy way she wears her clothes. And whether or not you feel badly for her, I think we can all agree with that…?

Still…Jessica Simpson has surged back into the spotlight, ridiculed by everyone, and now it’s a weight debate. Now her sister Ashlee is stepping up to defend her, taking to her blog, because the only place to fight nowadays is on a blog! Unfortunately, Ashlee, like Jessica, was born with a lame brain…which is why she only made it worse:

“Since when did a woman’s weight become newsworthy? I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman's weight or figure.

All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you're a celebrity, there shouldn't be a different standard.

Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?

I seriously doubt it. How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure? Now can we focus on the things that really matter.”


Now before you whip your bra off and start snapping your fingers in solidarity, consider who you’d be applauding.

Ashlee Simpson changed her face. Ashlee Simpson wouldn’t admit it for ages. Ashlee Simpson was UNHAPPY with her physical appearance. But instead of advocating self esteem, she chose plastic surgery. She was also a proponent of Hollywood thinnification… and if you’ve been reading my site long enough, you’ll remember the IV diet and the Hollywood diet doctors. Click here for a refresher.

And now Ashlee Simpson is pontificating about teenage girls loving and respecting themselves?

Please.

Also please f-ck off about the size 2. Where did size 2 come from? If all bodies are beautiful, why is size 2 suddenly the standardbearer? Wouldn’t it have been a more inclusive statement to say that SIZE 8, instead of size 2, is not fat?

Actually, no.

Because the truth is Ashlee probably thinks that a size 8 is indeed fat.

Would she ever want to be a size 8?

Hell no. Hell never.

As for juxtaposing the inauguration with society’s obsession with trivial matters like weight and body image – I don’t disagree in spirit. But before she starts attacking the blogs and even the tabloids, how about the Lord God Almighty herself Oprah Winfrey?

This is the most recent cover of O Magazine: How did I let this happen again?

For years she has been on about this. Years. And while she can shout until she’s blue in the face about how this might be “helpful” to others, in the end all it does is feed the fixation. For all that bullsh-t she tries to sell about loving yourself, the only time Oprah really does love herself is when she’s thin…exactly what Ashlee Simpson is arguing against.

But do you think Ashlee Simpson will take on Opesy?

I’ll be in a 3 way with Colin Farrell and James McAvoy before that moron takes on Opesy.

And finally…

To bring it back to my girl the Pornster. Is she being treated unfairly? Were we too unkind to focus on those photos? Wait before you answer. Wait and watch below. You’ve seen it before but for the sake of this argument, watch it again straight through.

Jessica Simpson: Dukes of Hazzard

So…at what point did it become necessary for her to start writhing on a car in her bikini all soaped and sexed up?

As a colleague of mine said today, it became necessary when she decided that her body was her commodity, her currency, her product.

And since her entire sales strategy is based on physical appearance, this then is what we judge. She asked for it. Too f-cking bad.

Attached – because it never gets old – Porny at the chili fair and, for fun, Ashlee Simpson’s old nose.

Photos from Wenn.com

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