Ashlee Simpson Gossip

Ashlee Simpson gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Sienna shops

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 2, 2006 12:00:00 October 2, 2006 12:00:00

Those extensions are still a budget mess but those boots are fantastic, fantastic overall in fact, and much much better than that prom dress she chose for the Opera last week . But even if the hair is still Simpson, it seems as though Sienna"s Sampson curse is on the reverse, now that the short locks have been camouflaged by some length, restoring a certain feng shui balance to her life. Full Story

Gwyneth Paltrow: 34 is black & blue

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 28, 2006 12:00:00 September 28, 2006 12:00:00

The only way to kick off the column, especially in her honour, and 34 never looked so good. Such a fantastic patented Paltrow comeback to wipe away the Isotoners, and bring us back to basis - the basics of Gwyneth style, not for everyone, yes I know. Full Story

One Simpson Success

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 27, 2006 12:00:00 September 27, 2006 12:00:00

Even though she barely looks like herself these days, even though she allegedly sought the assistance of the Hollywood Diet Doctors for rapid thinnification, even though she"s the daughter of a creepy Papa Pimp, I have to tell you… I"m impressed. Full Story

Sienna Samson, Jude Squiggle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 27, 2006 12:00:00 September 27, 2006 12:00:00

Once upon a time, before the nanny, before the tears, before the homewrecking and the hell, I was a little bit in love with Sienna Miller. Pure gorgessity in Alfie, natural and light and definitely skank-free, Sienna was the "it"… Sienna would be a star. Without a doubt, the catalyst for her emotional unraveling was quite obviously the cheat but if you ask me, the catalyst for her subsequent style suckage has got to be the haircut. Full Story

Thursday, September 21, 2006 Dear gossips, So according to Splash News Angelina and Brad dropped $400K on Banksy the other day after attending his art show last week, laying claim to several pieces including a bust with a bullet hole in the forehead and a sketch of what looks to be the Pitts themselves picnicing in the jungle being observed by tribesfolk. Back in the real world, I arrived home on Sunday to an early birthday present: a beautiful painting in aggressive crimson accessorised dramatically by long stem red roses and a spotless apartment. Do you think Brad Pitt cleans the house? And do you think Brad Pitt plays video games? Because along with the art gift came a self gift…a brand new Xbox 360 to celebrate another season of the NY Jets sucking ass. His favourite team and Madden Football obsessively for 2 weeks, no conversation, no marriage quality time, until he finally comes up for air. Angelina gets a man on a motorcyle, I get a man on a game console, and a free pass from having babies. I"m thinkin" I"m ahead…you? In today"s issue: Britney cuts corners, Britney cuts fat, the philanthropic Pitts, the helpless Jessica Simpson, the raging Renee, speaking up for Gwynnie, pro-love for supermodel sag, and the Lilo infects the Cam.

Jessica Simpson: smart move #1

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 8, 2006 12:00:00 September 8, 2006 12:00:00

Well well. Looks like she"s not completely hopeless after all. And it also looks like she might have taken that my bit of advice to heart from the other day: "Time for a new team, honey. Starting with the father. In fact, get rid of ALL the men in your life and give Stephen Huvane call. That man has done wonders with mediocrity in the name of Aniston…can you imagine what he’d do with you???" Full text here Full Story

Jessica’s Downward Spiral

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 7, 2006 12:00:00 September 7, 2006 12:00:00

I’d say it’s time for an emergency Simpson Summit, wouldn’t you? I mean at this point, even I’m feeling a little sorry for the poor little twat. And if the bleeding doesn’t stop, I fear we might have another Hollywood breakdown on our hands. Let’s consider her recent string of humiliations, in no particular order, shall we? - Nick finds a girlfriend. Full Story

The Daily Hairapy: Jessica Simpson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 6, 2006 12:00:00 September 6, 2006 12:00:00

If you"re going to chew me out for selling out, read this first, because selling out for Sunsilk once every few weeks pays for my bitch and it pays for gaygays and it pays for snarky smut- so will you forgive and excuse it and help a girl out? And will you direct your ire instead at Jessica Simpson? What gives this girl the right to sell extensions? To sell hair??? Would you want hair like this??? It"s poofy and flat in all the wrong places, it"s Sally Field 30 years too young, it"s natural, it"s white trash bob, it"s tacky ass crap, and it Does. Full Story

Jessica Simpson: Suck "n" Sprinkle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 31, 2006 12:00:00 August 31, 2006 12:00:00

If you"re one of those prudish types, STOP READING NOW. And consider yourself warned. Otherwise, don"t be bitching to my inbox about crass and crude and blah blah blah. After all, smut is nothing if it ain"t dirty. Right then. About this Jessica Simpson/John Mayer hook up/publicity stunt/whatever. Full Story

Jessica Simpson: why big is bad

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 30, 2006 12:00:00 August 30, 2006 12:00:00

So you know my stance against big boobs, right? Quick recap - I have "em, I hate "em, if I had the courage, I"d lop "em off and risk divorce. Mostly because they"re a motherf&ckin" nuisance. But also because in my humble opinion, clothes look better on a board. Case in point - check out Jessie leaving TRL today. Full Story

Jess & Ken: Like Fag, Like Hag

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 23, 2006 12:00:00 August 23, 2006 12:00:00

I"m starting to have a crisis of confidence about Jessica Simpson. Is it just me? It must just be me. Maybe I"m the one with low classy taste. Maybe I"m the only one who fails to see the brilliance in all of this. Because if you ask me... who in their right f&cking mind would approve of these promo shots??? Especially the threeway. Full Story